All I Ever Wanted
by The DA is dressed to the nines
Summary: Realisation sometimes hits you like lightning; thats how it happened for Lily. Even a summer in denial, thinking 'Damn Him' doesn't help. Watch as she comes to terms of her feelings for toerag James Potter. Heavy M especially later. All reviews welcome.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, here I go people my first ever fanfiction story! Any and all reviews welcome here.  
**

**An early Happy Birthday to Cheynee! A great source of inspiration to me, consider this my gift to you. None of these words would've come to me without your genius. I hope you enjoy it!**

**P.s if I were JKR I would've kept Harry all for myself! I get no money from this just a happy glow of imagination. Now without further ado...**

She was hot. Burning up in fact. Running to the bathroom she closed and locked the door, running the cold water over her hands and splashing her face. Instant relief her boiling cheeks. Not for the blood pounding through her body though. This was the third night in a row that she had woken up in a sweat: no doubt tonight would be the night Alice asked her about it. Always an incredibly light sleeper, Lily knew her best friend heard her jump out of bed again. Looking at her reflection, Lily's bright green irises shone through the dishevelled red hair that had fallen in her eyes. Her porcelain pallor was flushed pink and glistening with a mix of the cool water and sweat. Always, Lily had prided herself on being a sensible, level headed girl. Never fickle in the slightest; but the glass she was looking in now wasn't lying to her.

No matter how much she wished it would...

Where had this girl emerged from? Strict on herself during her waking hours, her unconscious mind seemed to have turned traitor on her. Every wanton thought she pushed from her brain assaulted her in her sleep. _Damn him!_

She straightened the strap of her pyjama top, which had slipped down her shoulder, revealing almost all of her left breast. Hands cooled from the sink, she pressed them like soothing sheets of ice to her collarbone, watching as the droplets trailed down, heating on contact with her boiling skin. The way one slipped along the curve of her chest, disappearing into the fabric and creating a darkened swell where it seeped through, making her flesh tingle.

Hadn't his fingertip trailed that same spot in her imagination just minutes before? And wouldn't she be lying if she said her knickers weren't being seeped into in a similar way? Biting her lip very hard, she willed herself to stop reliving it. Stop the image she longed to hate but found so delicious. Stop her hand from straying to her breast and pinching lightly at her already protruding -

_Knock knock._

She immediately snatched her hand away, scolding herself.

'Lily?' whispered Alice.

Sighing heavily, she opened the door to her best friend and went back to the sink to splash her face more.

'Are you all right Lil?' asked Alice from behind her, closing the door softly.

'I'm ok,' she replied half-heartedly.

'This is the third night you've been up.'

'Damn you and your light sleeping Als,' said Lily mockingly, looking at the blonde girl in the mirror.

The blue eyes looking back at her were still full of concern though. 'You were spacing out in charms too Lil.'

'Really Alice I'm ok,' said Lily, dropping the joking tone. 'I've just had a few bad dreams lately.'

'Oh I know you've been dreaming,' said Alice, the corners of her mouth twitching. 'But I don't think bad is a good description.'

The flush drained from Lily's skin, leaving her white as a sheet and wide eyed.

'What do you mean?' she asked, terrified. _How could she possibly know? She __couldn't... Unless..._

'You might want to consider a silencing charm before bed,' Alice said, moving to her side. 'Don't worry,' she added hastily when Lily looked even more horrified. 'No one else has heard you. You barely made any noise.'

'What-' Lily asked, eyes closed in embarrassment. Did she really want to know the answer? 'What did you hear Als?'

Alice was a kind, caring, considerate girl by nature and an amazing friend. Selfless. However she had a teasing streak, saved only for those who knew her best: Lily could sense it bubbling in this moment.

'Put it this way, for a girl who has always declined boys and never had a kiss, you moan like a complete sex kitten!'

Even the impact of her forehead to the cool mirrors glass did nothing to stifle her blush.

'Oh merlin no,' she breathed, mortified.

'No more like, 'oh merlin _yes_!'' Alice said, imitating her voice.

The redhead glared at the blonde who smirked. Lily decided to fight back.

'"Oh _Frank! _Don't stop"' imitated Lily, remembering the time she'd caught her best friend and boyfriend in a broom cupboard she was passing

Now Alice flushed and Lily smirked.

'"Oh sweet Merlin,_"_' breathed Alice, with a triumphant twinkle in her eyes. 'Please. Oh _please_! Right there _James_."'

Lily froze.

'What?'

Upon seeing the terror in Lily's eyes, Alice's smirk dropped immediately.

'You said his name Lil,' she said softly.

Swallowing thickly, she turned away from her best friend. Lily rarely cried. It wasn't that she was an unemotional person; quite the contrary. But in her mind, crying didn't solve anything, finding shouting a very efficient substitute. However, upon the confirmation that her best friend knew who she had been dreaming about in the last week a lump rose in her throat, purely out of frustration with herself. This could not be happening.

'Lil,' said Alice, rubbing her back gently. 'There's nothing bad about liking James.'

'I do _not_ like Potter.'

Even she didn't believe the words when they came out. Sighing again, Lily took a drink from the stream of cool liquid issuing from the faucet.

'When did this happen Lil?' asked Alice. 'I know you never really hated James when you said so. But what's made you suddenly feel this way? It's only the first week of term after all.'

Breathing deep, Lily closed her eyes; time to confess.

'On the train at the end of last term,' she started softly.

_Bloody hell I hate being short! _

_She stood on her tiptoes, stretching as high as she could. Her trunk was caught in the rack and she couldn't pull it high enough to dislodge it. A cool breeze touched the skin on her waist where her top had rode up. Growing more and more frustrated, she jiggled her trunk, trying to remove it. She growled, losing her patience and kicked the seat. _

_'Ow!' she burst, hopping on her none throbbing foot. 'For Merlin's sake!' _

_Out of nowhere, just as she was about to fall on her arse, a touch that felt like fire brushed the bare skin on her waist. A strong arm wrapped around her petite frame, steadying her back against a solid chest which was rising and falling steadily behind her. Instantly, Lily stilled. Whoever this person was they were holding her in a way she'd never felt: a strong, possessive hold that made her feel so secure, but at the same time gentle as though they thought she'd break. Barely aware of the foot that was still throbbing, the sound of her heart pounded in her ears; that touch on her waist was rising goosebumps in a tingly shiver down her body, the warmth of their being seeping into her own back. Still holding onto her tightly, the mystery man reached up with his free arm, pulling her trunk down in one smooth move, setting it beside her. A pure, masculine aura surrounded her, attacking each one of her senses. Gods the smell of him made her mouth salivate without her quite knowing why. Like a soft summer breeze, fingertips ghosted along the column of her throat, brushing her long red hair back over her shoulder. Unaware she was panting for air, Lily almost whimpered in delight when a light, lingering kiss dropped at the base of her neck. Then a kiss dropped at her temple and she heard and felt him take a deep breath in. _

_'Have a good summer Lily.' _

_Her eyes opened wide in shock, not quite sure when they had closed. _

_'Be careful ok?'_

_Such concern filled this statement that it made her automatically nod. Part of her, the part that had been drilled for four years to shove him away, shout, scream or hex him remained silent. Drowned out to this unknown thudding in every corpuscle of her being, an awakened yearning to stay in his presence. _

_'You too,' escaped her lips, in the smallest voice she wasn't even certain was her own._

_Vibrations from the deep chuckle he emitted rumbled into her own body, reverberating into her own ribs, causing her speeding her heart to bash an even more frantic rhythm._

_'Don't you worry your beautiful, brilliant head Evans,' he said near her ear. 'I'll come back in one piece. Just for you.'_

_Removing his hold on her waist, he dragged an open palm across her exposed flesh. Every cell, every impulse, every nerve ending sprang to life as though shocked by a live wire. Her hair stood on end, biting down onto her lip hard to stop from making... Merlin only knows what sound. The warm, solid, secure mass she'd felt behind her retreated and Lily vaguely thought must've she looked hilarious, practically pirouetting on the spot to catch a glimpse of him. He lingered by the door. Messy haired, slightly flushed, glasses flashing and mischievous, hazel eyes looking straight into hers._

_'See you in September.'_

_Unsure she could trust her own voice, all Lily could summon was a soft wave. Potter smirked lightly before sauntering off down the carriage. _

_Feeling like a lightning bolt had struck her dumb, Lily fell, weak kneed, back into her seat. _

_**What the hell had just happened?**_

**There you have it! Please let me know what you think I'm always striving to improve! XXX **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! I want to give a massive massive thank you to every single person who reviewed my story! You all made me feel so touched that you took the time to leave me comments and that you've given my work a positive reception!**

**Love to you all! I updated extra quick for you. It won't be this fast all the time so please enjoy and let me know how I did.**

**Ps for those of you who haven't read _Fantastic beasts and where to find them, _a Billywig is a magical insect which spins as it flies. Yes I know I'm a true Harry Potter nerd!  
**

**Chapter 2.  
**

'Where the hell was I when this was happening?' asked Alice, wide eyed from Lily's tale.

Lily rolled her eyes.

'Having your two minute goodbye with Frank,' said Lily. 'The one that turned into a half hour goodbye in the nearest free toilet?'

The blush that hit Alice's face almost matched Lily's.

'Oh yeah, that,' she mumbled.

Trying to hold in the giggle that wanted to escape, Lily hopped up onto the window sill, wiggling her night chilled toes. Gryffindor-red nail polish flashed in the dim light.

'So, you do like James then?' asked Alice cautiously.

Lily knew why her friend was proceeding carefully. Something about Potter immediately stirred her into defence mode.

'Honestly? I have no idea what I'm feeling,' sighed Lily. 'I mean... it's Potter! It's that annoying, immature –'

She cut herself off, shaking her head vigorously. Her brain felt almost water logged from too much use. All she wanted was to crawl back under her covers, absorb the warmth in her blankets and sleep peacefully.

Yes, sleep sounded wonderful, especially if –

Oh Merlin she did _not_ just look forward to having more highly inappropriate dreams!

'To be fair you said yourself he'd been less annoying last year,' reminded Alice.

She nodded in agreement.

'And didn't he stop asking you out every other day?'

Again Lily nodded. 'He asked me about once every few weeks,' she said, thinking hard. 'And when we got paired in Charms he actually worked.'

'So looking back, the scream of outrage when he got Head Boy was too rash?' Alice teased.

Green eyes rolled again. 'Yes I'll admit I overreacted. But come on, no one was expecting James-'

Her hand flew to her mouth.

'Wow,' exhaled Alice.

Lily took to inspecting her red painted toenails in an attempt to distract herself. Some of them were a little smudged since she was hardly a professional in something so – well, _girly._

Only once or twice previously had she bothered to do such little things as paint her toes, finding it pretty pointless since it was highly unlikely anyone would see them. It wasn't that she didn't pride her appearance, she would never skimp on looking well groomed, but such small things that she saw other girls fretting about – like the _perfect _lipstick to match their Hogsmeade outfit... the thought actually made her want to fake gag.

During this summer though, she felt oddly compelled to indulge into a little extra effort. Never before had she felt the _need_ to make her feet, a part of her that was hidden day in, day out, look pretty. And she'd started using a magical hair remover on her legs weekly. While the benefits of having fuzz free legs felt rather nice, Lily felt she was being silly. There was _no_ reason for her to be bothering! She was perfectly happy in her own skin. Whether she was hairy legged or had plain nails.

But then the thought of a certain messy haired someone maybe catching a glimpse of her in pyjama shorts with as much leg hair as a yeti –

Her stomach turned. _Was she actually making herself look better for Potter?!_

No. That was _not _what she was doing. She was just having odd moods lately. Yes. Denial. That was a good plan. Deny everything and this stupid hormonal surge she was having would obliterate soon enough.

'Well I think there's a totally logical way of working out how you're feeling,' piped up Alice after a minute.

Snapping from the massive tangent her mind had wandered on, Lily's eyes flew up; she was willing to hear any idea at this point.

'Well Potter always asks you out right? Why not just pretend he's worn you down? Go on one date with him and see how you feel.'

Although she pretended she hadn't felt it, her heart dropped like a stone into the deep pond of her stomach, ripples of regret flowing through her in its wake.

'That's not workable,' she said softly.

'Why not?' asked Alice.

Knowing the disappointment was showing on her face, Lily looked her best friend in the eye.

'Because he hasn't asked me out since May.'

***

James rolled over, punching the lumps out of his pillow for the third time, trying to succumb to the peaceful, one o'clock in the morning sleep that his dorm mates were currently indulging in. Yet a mind turning over and over like a Billywig in mating season was enough to keep it from his grasp. A never-ending cycle of thought rolled through his synapses again and again.

The subject? A certain feisty redhead... _Damn her_!

It was a simple thought process, brought on by one fact. He missed her. This plan currently under execution seemed logical at the time. James wanted Lily. James knew he annoyed Lily. Hence if James gave Lily space, she'd find she missed him and would want him back. It's not like he could become invisible to her after all. They still had every class together and were paired up in charms. And that was just last year! This year they shared heads duties, which meant they'd have hourly meetings twice a week! He'd worked up to this point very well. Kept his staring to a minimum, stayed on his best behaviour – dropped her a compliment and sly touch from time to time – and for the most part it seemed to have worked. She was definitely warming to him – Merlin he'd even slipped up on the train home, giving into the urge to hold her for a moment. What had it earned him? Not a punch or a hex as he'd been expecting once he opened his mouth. In fact she'd seemed pretty stunned. He'd managed to drop two kisses on her without bodily harm ensuing afterwards! And now? Well now they were almost on a first name basis!

_So why did he miss her_?

Although he couldn't deny that the new, steadily growing relationship he and Lily had was highly agreeable, insane as it sounded, James missed her fiery side. That furious look that made the green of her eyes shine almost fluorescent and send bolts of heat through his skin when she got herself worked into a frenzy.

And she'd lick her lips before she started to shout.

And as happens with every seventeen year old, red blooded male, James felt his body reacting to this image. Merlin only knows how many hours he'd spent locked in the bathroom, working himself over the thought of Lily moistening her plump lips. The room in his pyjama bottoms was virtually none existent now, but for once he was too physically exhausted to do anything about it; choosing the new Quidditch team did that to a bloke.

But that instinct to go up to her, hold her, beg her to go out with him, or even just snog her senseless at the next available opportunity was the causing his current dilemma.

_Stick to the plan. Stick to the plan its working_.

But Merlin it couldn't work fast enough. Which led him to think over the plan again. And then to his desires. Which in turn made him rethink the plan. A never ending, annoying cycle. Sirius' deep, rumbling snores from the next bed invoked so much jealousy in James right now. What he wouldn't give to be that far into sleep...

_Bugger this!_ He had to get out of his head.

'Padfoot?' whispered James, looking over to Sirius' bed. He picked up his slipper and lobbed it at his surrogate brother. 'Oi, wake up.'

'Prongs you better be near death right now,' grumbled Sirius without opening his eyes. 'Cos if you're not you soon will be.'

'I need to talk to you,' said James quietly.

'About bloody time too,' Sirius rolling onto his side to face James.

'What do you mean?' asked James.

'You've never said one word about Evans since last term,' said Sirius knowingly. 'I thought you'd crack for sure on the first day back. Merlin if you hadn't said something by tomorrow I'd have suspected you were an impostor. But as always your timing is fan-bloody-tastic.'

James said nothing for a long moment but Sirius could read him better than anyone.

'Prongs I didn't get woken from a dream featuring the double D-cupped Ravenclaw to sit and watch you _thinking_! You've had two months to think! Spit it out.'

James had to crack a smile and he took a cleansing breath, lighting his wand, before relaying all his thoughts to his best friend. For the first time in five years, Sirius didn't complain about James talking for a solid twenty minutes about what he was feeling for Lily. As the other two occupants continued to slumber, he sat tousle-haired but fully awake, taking in every word from James' mouth. And after he'd finished he sat thinking for a long moment.

'So you've managed three months without saying the words 'will you go out with me?' to Evans?'

James nodded.

'I owe Moony ten Galleons,' said Sirius, chuckling.

James ignored that comment. 'What should I do? Do I keep on going with the plan?'

Sirius looked at him pointedly.

'Has Evans ever said yes to you asking her out?'

'Oh yeah she's agreed every time!' said James sarcastically.

'Is the plan working?' asked Sirius, ignoring his tone.

'Yeah...' said James, slowly cottoning on.

'And you needed to tell me an answer you already know at one in the morning because?' said Sirius, rolling over again. 'Now if you'll excuse me, there's a delightful young lady with rather fine assets I'd like to get back to.'

Unable to help but grin, James felt his mind stop turning, extinguishing his wand and lay down, closing his eyes.

'Are you sure?' he asked into the newly dark room after a moment.

'Deadly serious mate.'

'Haven't you always been?'

'Too easy Prongs.'

'Come on. You left that wide open!'

**There you have it! Please make my day and let me know what you think. Good or bad i won't mind, it felt a little rushed to me so please be honest XXX**


	3. Chapter 3

**My apologies for this chapter taking longer than the last. Its also rather short too, just couldn't seem to get it flowing but I gave it my best shot. I also have the next planned out so it shouldn't take too long.**

**Once again thank you so much to all the people who spared the time to review and to all those who added me to their favourites. It truly makes me feel honoured. XXX  
**

Chapter 3

'Three months?' said Alice for what felt like the millionth time as she applied her mascara. While being Lily's best friend, Alice had a touch more girlishness in her. She wore basic make up, forever trying to convince Lily to try it just once.

'For the last time Als _yes_,' said Lily rather snappily, brushing her hair; after managing a few hours of restless sleep and an early morning she was not in the mood for this discussion.

'I'm sorry Lil,' she said quickly. 'I'm just getting my head around it. There's never been a week –' she sighed, pulling her long blonde hair up in a ponytail. 'Scratch that. There hasn't been three days go by since second year that James hasn't asked you out. And now suddenly he stops?'

Lily shrugged, blaming the squirming in her stomach on hunger.

'I'm glad.'

It was at least half true. Although initially thrown by his newly tame demeanour around her, Lily had breathed a sigh of relief when it seemed James had become bored of pestering her. She even found that the Charms lesson they shared wasn't too horrendous, they had a few fun moments. And then a few weeks later she'd began to wonder why he'd stopped pursuing her, still telling herself (to this day) that it was a weight off her shoulders. Except the thought she caused the only boy who liked her to finally give up just seemed to shift the weight and have her haul it around in her stomach instead.

Said organ suddenly growled angrily; it was certainly time for breakfast.

'You ready?'

'Just about,' said Alice, spraying the light smelling perfume Frank had given her. 'Are you _sure _you don't want to try just a itty bitty bit of mascara?'

Waving the tube enticingly before her, Lily saw the way the mascara framed her blue eyes. Since term had started, she'd wanted to give to that alien need to try something a little different every time Alice asked her. But the thought of knowing what reaction her friend would give made her hold back a little. It seemed that today though, when the answer of 'no Alice' didn't immediately spring from her lips, Als knew exactly what was going through her head. She looked a little dumbstruck for a moment.

Cringing, Lily felt her face flush and she waited for the squeal of 'finally!'. Waited to be tugged down and painted like some Muggle Barbie doll. But her best friend just smiled softly, her blue eyes sparkling with glee that she was obviously suppressing.

'Come here,' she said, shifting along on her bed to make room for Lily in front of her mirror.

Nervously, Lily sat down and Alice gave her the make up bag she had.

'I'll show you how ok?' Als said, grinning. 'I won't make you look awful I promise.'

'Thank you Als,' said Lily quietly, hugging her.

Alice smiled to herself as Lily asked what she did with the pink powder: _Merlin she must have it bad_...

***

'For the love of Merlin Padfoot GET _OUT_ OF THE SODDING BATHROOM!'

James chuckled despite his still half asleep state, marvelling at the way only Sirius could make Moony lose his rag. Every Marauder knew to get to the bathroom before Sirius did, lest they pay the price. The sound of flushing water echoed from behind the door until it opened, hot steam issuing into the room.

'Perfection takes time and patience Moony!' said Sirius cheerfully.

'Perfection my arse!' Remus shot, though his mouth was starting to twitch.

'I think you'll find its my arse that's perfection Moony,' smirked James.

'Is that so?' said Remus, that knowing smirk twitching as he walked to the bathroom. 'And here I thought you said that it was a certain Miss Lily Evans who had, what was it again?'

He paused at the door, looking falsely thoughtful.

'Oh yes the '_most delectable and heavenly arse in the whole of history'._'

Sirius spat out the Butterbeer he'd been swigging from last nights left over bottle, his bark like laugh making Peter, who'd just fallen whilst putting his socks on, chuckle from his position on the floor. James coloured.

_Gulp. _'You know sarcasm is the lowest form of wit Moony?'

'And yet I pull it off magnificently,' he answered, closing the bathroom door before James' pillow hit him in the face.

'Oh lighten up Prongs,' chuckled Sirius as he gave Peter a hand up off the carpet. 'You should enjoy Moony being so cheerful while you can,' he added a little quieter.

It was true. It was inevitable that as this week progressed, Remus would become more short tempered as the full moon approached.

'Yeah I know,' James sighed, pulling on his tie. 'Sorry it's just –'

'Evans,' said Peter knowingly. 'You get this look on your face when you're thinking about her.'

Focusing on knotting his tie, James tried to stop his mind straying to her again... or her highly delectable arse. He had finally managed to drift off after talking to Sirius last night, but the sleep he did have was plagued with images that made him want to throw out the plan completely. Merlin knows what he would do at breakfast this morning when he saw her. The picture of throwing her down onto the table, her cheeks flushed and hair fanning around her made him need to hide himself from the waist down.

'Don't worry Prongs you'll get her eventually,' Peter said.

_Yeah you've only been saying that for the last five years, _James thought. Then felt instantly guilty. He was only trying to make him feel better after all.

'Thanks Wormtail,' he said as cheerfully as he could.

Not five minutes later, Moony was out of the bathroom. James tied his jumper around his waist, deftly leaving the sleeves hanging in front of his crotch, before throwing his robes on over his white shirt.

'We heading down now then?'

***

'Lily _stop_ fidgeting!'

Self conscious didn't even cover how Lily was feeling as brushed her hair from her eyes. What was she thinking to have agreed to this?!

As soon as the doors to the Great Hall came into view her stomach lurched so much she felt it might jump from her mouth. She truly felt the impulse to run. But Alice held her arm in a vice tight grip.

'You said yourself I've hardly changed anything!' said Alice exasperated. 'You're a Gryffindor! Use your guts. And plus just think, when you get in there'll be pancakes waiting.'

Mmm pancakes with lemon juice! But her hair fell back into her eyes and she felt like running again. She had allowed Alice (after much internal struggling) to style it differently for her, pulling just a little back from her face, leaving two silky red strands to frame her features. The slightest amount of chocolate brown around her eyes made the green irises contrast brightly; and when she looked up the tips of her eyelashes tickled her eyebrows. Alice had dusted the lightest amount of blush on her pale cheeks, claiming that as soon she got embarrassed she wouldn't need any.

This much was true. Her cheeks had all the natural flush they ever needed, and she swallowed several times as Alice dragged her into the lions den.

Blowing out a slow breath, she opened her eyes, thankful no one had noticed anything yet. Within seconds though, Frank had bounced over from the Hufflepuff table and given Alice her good morning kiss.

'Mmm good morning Mr Longbottom,' beamed Alice when they finally broke apart.

'Well good morning my angel,' said Frank.

The way they looked at each other secretly made Lily ache; but they needn't know that as she cleared her throat loudly when they attempted to redouble the effort to swap saliva.

'This is public breakfast, not a private all you can eat tongue buffet,' she said, rolling her eyes. 'Please restrain yourselves.'

'Sorry. Good morning Lil,' said Frank finally glancing at her.

'Good-' she started.

Lily felt her cheeks turn scarlet as Frank did a double take.

'Lily?! Wow you look lovely!'

Alice shot her an 'I told you so' grin from next to her boyfriend and Lily felt her face flush so hot someone could probably fry an egg on her cheeks.

'Thank you,' she said quietly, wanting to deny the smile that was pulling at her lips.

Leading them to their seats, Lily stopped herself from glancing at the door. Unbeknownst to her, Frank was whispering in Alice's ear.

'James is going to wet himself.'

Alice smirked. 'Oh I know love, that's the whole point.'

***

'Bacon sarnies this morning!' said Peter, bouncing off the walls.

'I bloody hate morning people,' Sirius muttered to James, but with a little fondness under the statement.

James snorted. 'Yeah you're more of a keep everyone up all night person.'

Sirius winked.

'Don't you mean a keep _it_ up all night person?'

Moony groaned in disgust.

'I beg you to stop.'

'So do they after a while!'

James had to burst out laughing at that point.

'Do you have a comeback for everything Padfoot?' asked Peter.

'NO!' shouted Moony before Sirius could take advantage of that comment.

Sides hurting from laughter, James fought for breath as the Great hall came into sight. Seductive smells of breakfast wafted to him, appealing to the growl of his stomach. Bacon didn't sound like such a bad idea now.

'Let's get in before Wormtail scoffs everything.'

Following as Wormtail ran to the first available seat, James ploncked down into the seat beside him.

'Good morning boys,' said the familiar voice of Alice a few seats down from opposite him. He looked up at her.

'Good morning-'

The rest of his greeting stuck in his throat when the red-headed, scarlet cheeked beauty beside the blonde looked at him, licking her full lips.

'Morning Potter,' she said softly, immediately breaking eye contact.

He swallowed thickly, his Adam's apple jiggling. His mental functions were taking an age to register; drowned out to the fierce thumping that was his pulse, surging hot blood in the opposite direction of his brain. He was positive that if he hadn't been seated, he would've fallen to his knees before her.

Those beautiful, almond shaped eyes glowed a brighter green than he'd ever seen them from beneath long eyelashes, which he was certain would make him weak willed to her every command, should she bat them at him. The red of her cheeks reminded him of when she would be ready to scream at him in outrage – oh Merlin she was licking her lips again! Thank you to whoever created lemon juice on pancakes!

Too distracted by her to notice the number of eyes on him, or the palpable silence that had fallen, James was snapped from yet more bad, bad thoughts about those lips by Padfoot kicking him hard under the tale and saying –

'Bloody hell Evans! Don't you look thoroughly shaggable today?!'

_  
Oh yes that snapped him out of it all right._

'I recognise that as the equivalent of a 'you look nice' in your world Black,' said Lily, pouring herself more juice. 'So thank you.'

'You can thank me properly if you lik–'

This time in was James that kicked Sirius.

'Really Lily,' said Remus as he sat opposite her. James kicked himself for not taking that seat. 'You look –'

'Stunning.'

Those green eyes were on him again and they made his hair stand on end. _Don't ask her out. Don't ask her out. Do NOT ask her out!_

'Thank you,' shesaid to both him and Moony.

James ate in silence, thoroughly jealous of how easy it was for Moony to hold a conversation with her. Every time he went to open his mouth, all he could think to say was how much he wanted her. Not good.

_Talk to her about something she's interested in_. That was the advice Moony had given him. He swallowed thickly again.

'Er, Evans?' he said, just as everyone stood to leave. 'Do you think we should plan tomorrow night's Prefect meeting later?'

'NOW!'

James gasped as a sharp rush of cold enveloped him from the head down, soaking into his clothes.

'WHAT THE HELL?' he shouted to his fellow Marauders, all of whom (along with a few others) were practically pissing themselves at the sight of him, drenched in freezing water.

'We – we made a deal,' gasped Sirius through laughing, clutching the empty jug. 'That the first time you – you mentioned your Head duties on your own, you'd need s – snapping out of it!'

'Some bloody mates you lot are,' he muttered, wiping his glasses. Cringing, he looked to Evans, expecting her to be breathless with mirth.

What he saw shoo him to the core.

Licking her lips slowly, James followed her eye line, to his well toned chest, which his semi see through shirt was now stuck to. Her face was flushed scarlet and her eyes were glazed over slightly.

'Lily?' said Alice, elbowing her and smirking at James.

He watched as her eyes wandered back to his face, her dazed expression slipping to one of horror, blushing vividly to the tips of her hair until she resembled a gorgeous, green eyed, tomato.

'Er, meeting plan? Right, er seven in the Common Room tonight? I'll um, see you, then – I mean after, later. Bye James!'

She practically bolted, leaving a dumbstruck crowd of dumbstruck boys behind in her wake.

'Merlin did she really just...' started Padfoot.

'Call him James?' finished Moony.

Wormtail nipped his own arm.

James felt a little hope swell in his chest. _Better not point out she knew we have double Charms now._

**Once again I apologise for the shortness. And please note that the next chapter will be moving on time wise I'm just setting the scenario atm.**

**I'd be touched if you review. All comments welcome as usual. Please tell me how I could improve. XXX  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**I owe each and every one of you the deepest of apologies.**

**I had intended to get this chapter out long ago but unfortunately life, as ever, never runs smoothly and I hit major mind blocks as well as being rushed so much I had no time to break through them. Nevertheless I did my best and I'm truly sorry for the long wait. This chapter feels a little scattered still but I've written out a template for where I want this story to go so hopefully you won't have such a gap in the future. I hope you enjoy it.**

Chapter 4

Lily's eyes snapped to James' mischievous hazel ones, so deep and rich with brown, amber and green, like changing leaves in the autumn -

'You haven't heard a word I've said have you?' he asked smirking.

'Shut up Potter,' she muttered, but with no bite to her words. She was willing her face not to flush. 'I didn't sleep well. I can't concentrate.'

In truth, she couldn't concentrate because every time she looked at him she pictured him from two weeks previously. Drenched in water, his shirt stuck to a chest that revealed rippling muscles; which made her flush in places she'd rather not think about.

How in the name of Merlin was he that buff anyway?! All he did was fly around on a broom for crying out loud! Damn him for being so fit... not that she thought he was fit. Not at all.

'Are you all right?' he asked, looking genuinely concerned. 'There's nothing bothering you is there?'

_Only the fact I'm thinking about you throwing me over this table._ Merlin she hoped he couldn't read her mind.

'I'm fine James,' she said, holding his gaze. Hazel studied green so intently that she felt he was looking right through her.

'You're lying,' he said softly. 'But I'll let it slide for now.'

'How do you know I'm lying?' she challenged.

He looked across the table at her, an odd look in his eyes.

'You're picking at your nails,' he said, pulling the list of names closer. 'You only do that when you're nervous or lying.'

Lily immediately snatched her hands apart and from the table top, into her lap. James cleared his throat, but she heard the laugh he was covering and glared daggers at him. Lily was more than surprised when she saw his cheeks turn a little pink and he stiffened somewhat, looking away.

'Or am I mistaken?' he said, in a jovial tone. 'And is sweet Alice finding some way of sneaking her man up after hours and keeping you girls awake with their unsavoury activities?'

'Eww!' Lily cringed, kicking him under the table. 'Bad bad _bad_ images there James! Did you channel Sirius for a minute?!'

James feigned looking deeply insulted.

'It wasn't _that_ bad Evans,' he said, resorting to the surname as they did during these teasing conversations.

'Aww did I hurt your feelings baby Potter?' Lily said, pouting mockingly.

Little did Lily or James realise how often this was happening between them now... or that all of their friends quickly made themselves scarce when they realised what was going on.

Leaving them alone to flirt in piece.

And at this moment they were indeed quite alone in the Heads dormitory. Although both Lily and James had declined using their private bedrooms in favour of staying with their friends, they often came up to their private common room. Apart from allowing much needed peace and quiet for their studies, it was much more relaxing than the library, with its comfortable sofas and fireplace. Tonight however, whilst planning the rota for the upcoming Hogsmeade weekend, Lily had steered James over to the table and chairs in the far corner rather than the two person sofa and coffee table.

Thanks to her latest steamy dream, that sofa had sent up a red flag in Lily's mind. It was all too tempting to work over there, in front of the roaring flames, James by her side. She'd get too hot and take off her jumper. He'd follow suit and look her up and down intensely and then she'd find herself straddling his waist, touching his muscled chest while his eager lips worked at her throat...

Not that she'd thought about it or anything.

Not when she'd woke up.

Or during her lessons.

Or whilst having a long soak in the private bathroom.

Lily realised that he hadn't responded, his eyes fixed, she knew, on her pouting lips. She swallowed, licking them instinctively. A surge of pride went through her when she saw him swallow and shift in his seat.

'James?' she said, surprised at the low tone in her voice.

No response.

'James?' she repeated, nudging his leg with hers.

He pushed his leg against hers and the contact sent a bolt up inside her torso and prickles to the back of her neck.

And also a smack on the head like a tonne of bricks. What the _hell_ was she doing playing footsie with him?!

'_Potter_!'

Finally James seemed to break from whatever daze he was in and looked at Lily.

'Er what?'

A smirk grew across Lily's face.

'You haven't heard a word I've said have you?' she mirrored.

The glazed look from James' eyes had truly vanished now and that spark of mischief glowed.

'Careful Evans,' he warned, brandishing the feather end of his quill at her. 'That tone will only lead you to trouble.'

'Imagine that,' said Lily with a fake scoff. 'Potter telling Lily Evans to behave! If only I had a witness!'

Suddenly she slid forward an inch off her chair as James sandwiched her leg between his and grabbed her foot, pulling it into his lap. He grinned widely, yanking off her shoe and tossing it over his shoulder.

'Don't say you weren't warned,' said James in a sing song voice, flexing his fingers.

Up until that moment, Lily had been fighting James' grip, pretending she didn't relish the feeling of one strong hand holding onto her calf. Now that she realised what was coming she froze, her eyes wide.

'James no!'

'You know what to say Evans,' he grinned, wiggling his fingers like creepy spiders legs near the sole of her foot. 'Just five ickle words and I'll spare you.'

Almost tempted for a moment, Lily practically felt the bitter taste from the words on the tip of her tongue.

'Never Pott - '

She tried. She really did. But from the moment that first fingertip made feather light contact with the fabric of the sock a siren shot to her brain, every muscle in her leg straining with the effort to squirm away and a screech of laughter erupting from her lungs. A thousand tiny prickles danced under her skin, making her nerve endings burn in the most tickling way imaginable.

'JAMES!' she squealed through her uncontrollable peels of laughter.

'That's a start Evans,' she heard him say, never stopping his fingers on their torturous mission. 'Just four more to go.'

'Stop!' Lily squeaked, panting for breath already.

'No no that's not right Evans.'

'Please!'

'Say it.'

'Never! James stop!' gasped Lily. 'Please.'

Tears of mirth clouded her vision but she saw the twinkling hazel clearly.

'Say it Evans and I will.'

She attempted to glare at him but took a gasp of breath instead.

'James Potter is a god!'

Instantly the siren to her brain stopped and Lily gulped in air greedily.

'Now it wasn't that difficult was it?' taunted James with a smile that went practically to his ears.

Lily glared at him, still breathless. 'Egotistical wanker.'

Realising he was about to start tickling again, Lily's leg immediately shot back, her knee colliding with the underside of the table. The resounding thunk took a moment to register as a pain shot through her joint.

'Bloody fucking SHITE!'

'Merlin Evans you clean your teeth with the toilet brush this morning?'

She shot another glare at him, gingerly rubbing her knee; oh yes that was going to bruise nicely.

'That's absolutely charming and very helpful Potter,' she bit out sarcastically.

Bending her leg, Lily brought her foot onto the seat, examining the large pink mark already appearing onto her pale flesh.

Then her face blushed so vivid and hot that she'd swear she'd just walked into a sauna. For James stood up, his chair scraping noisily on the hardwood floorboards, and leaned his tall frame across the table, pressing his lips softly to that spot on her knee. She looked at him, opening her mouth to speak but finding no voice. Lily was positive a flash of panic had went through his eyes; until he saw her expression that is. Then his usual smug demeanour overtook once again.

'Better?' he asked, a proud smile lighting his features.

Lily had to shrug since she hadn't quite recovered enough to stimulate her vocal chords. Her brain was certainly stimulated though. Aside from her annoyance at his attitude, the thought of him continuing to place kisses all the way up from her poor sore knee right to the juncture between her thighs...

Ok so not only her brain was stimulated.

'Don't even get why you wanted to sit over here anyway,' said James, taking his seat again. 'It's uncomfortable and well as dangerous in your case. The sofa would be better.'

Something then clicked in Lily's brain. He refused to meet her eyes as he said that last part. That was the third time he'd mentioned moving onto the sofa since they'd first sat down. At first it seemed perfectly reasonable for him to wonder why they wouldn't sit there. But that 'would be casual' tone he just used had given him away.

He _wanted_ her to move them to the sofa.

But the way he refused to look at her meant there was something else. James always took pride in teasing her. Surely he'd jump at the chance to make a big fuss about her sharing a cosy love seat with him, in front of a romantic fire. But he wasn't. He was genuinely attempting to move them into that situation on her terms.

And Lily wouldn't dream of letting that happen...

***

_For the love of Merlin you randy pervert STOP trying to get her onto the settee! It's not going to happen – _

'You know what James you're right, I don't know why I came over here,' said Lily, grabbing the parchment off the tabletop.

James watched in almost gleeful disbelief as she made her way over to the fireplace. Her hips swayed in the most enticing manor and he swallowed a groan when she bent forward to drop the parchment onto coffee table.

The fact that she had no real need to bend forward never even entered his mind. But a lot of things did when she looked over her shoulder at him.

'Aren't you going to join me?'

_Oh hell to the sweet Merlin yes!_

He got up, willing himself to be calm and thankful for his trusty jumper sleeves trick. Lily had already sat herself down so James settled next to her, trying with all his might to approach this as though Lily was any other girl. But unfortunately for him, Lily wasn't any other girl, so when she scooted closer to him, their thighs up against one another, he swallowed several times, grabbing the parchment and moving it into his lap.

'So,' said Lily, nodding to his lap. 'What do you have for me?'

_Oh you have no idea Evans._

He managed after another swallow. 'Er well I've sorted the Hogsmeade weekend –' _Don't ask her to go with you. Don't ask her to go with you. _'Each pair of the Prefects will have an hour and a half shift with the third years from their house.'

His plan was greeted with a perfect, gorgeous Lily Evans smile.

'That's a great idea James!'

He grinned back, feeling a swell of pride he tried to push down. 'A brilliant body needs a brilliant mind Evans.'

She simply rolled her gorgeous green eyes. 'And to think people call you egotistical.'

'It's a true rule Evans!'

'In that case, with my test results, I must be a goddess.'

'You are.'

He attempted to mask the feeling of wanting to smack himself. First it was kissing her knee better, then its confessing how beautiful he thought she was. _So much for the plan. At this rate I should just tell her about the massive hard on I have every time she's near! _He met her eyes briefly, knowing she was searching him for lies so he quickly cleared his throat.

'Er did you get the night rotas finished?'

Lily seemed to be willing to let the comment pass and he breathed a sigh of relief. 'Yes so I think we're done up here for now.'

'Just when we'd got comfortable,' James added, shaking his head. 'Typical.'

He was now torn. Her presence around him was dangerous and intoxicating... but also irresistible. Should he leave before he made a bigger fool out of himself and blew the whole plan? Or should he stay; purely to be around her for an extra second?

The latter won out but at least, he told himself, he had a genuine reason for needing to stay.

'James?'

'Hmm?' he answered, attempting to ignore the fact she'd crossed her legs and her skirt was riding higher up on her thighs. Damn her and that creamy skin he wanted to kiss and nibble until she was begging him to –

'I was actually wondering if you could help me with something.'

_Please let it be shagging you senseless._

James cursed his teenage hormonal impulses. This was _Lily Evans_ for Merlin's sake! That beautiful, vibrant, fiery witch he'd spent years pining after. She was special and deserved for him to man up and stop these thoughts where she was a piece of meat.

'Anything you need Evans,' he answered. _She wants maturity she'll get maturity._

He noticed a light blush (for Lily anyway) come to her cheeks and she smiled nervously.

'Well it's about my Transfiguration. You know it's my worst subject and I'm struggling with it even more this year. I'd ask Alice to tutor me but she's having trouble with her Herbology and her tutor is taking up all her time. And since you're the best in the year, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind tutoring me for a few weeks?'

An uncontrollable grin came to James' face. Another opportunity to spend time with Lily alone _and _prove he could live up to her standards.

'Of course I will Lily,' he said, trying to hide his elation. 'Do you want to get started now.'

'Definitely,' said Lily with a dazzling smile, pulling their latest essay out of her bag. 'Thank you James.'

Every single hair on James' body stood up as she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a tight squeeze of a hug. Her scent wafted around him when her fiery hair fell forwards from behind her ear and her chest was pressed right up to the side of his torso. _Merlin was she trying to break him?! Maturity only stretches so far when a girls tits are against your body!_

She pulled back after a moment and flipped her textbook open.

'Can we start with _Animagi_?' asked Lily, without looking up. 'Since its the most interesting?'

Through his euphoric daze, James grinned. It certainly was.

'Course we can,' said James, feeling a little more confident. 'Might have to keep you here a while though.'

Lily looked up at him through her eyelashes. 'You can keep me here as long as you like James.'

_Holy fucking shit!_

**So has Lily rumbled James' plan? You'll find out soon enough haha. Please let me know what you think and again I'm so sorry for the wait. The next will be better I promise XXX**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey I finally feel like I'm back in the zone! Here's you're new chapter! I'm halfway through the next too so it won't be too long between updates! A massive thank you to all my reviewers and everyone who favourited me :D. Boys be warned, girls really do plot this much!**

**Thank you to Chubbypotato for pointing out my mistake with adding Molly Prewett. I've edited that section to make it work! I want to keep this story as historically accurate as i can so if i ever mak another booboo like that please let me know!  
**

Chapter 5

A large box of Honeydukes magnificent chocolates sat open on a crimson bedspread, every single one under the scrutiny of two plotting Gryffindors.

The first chosen was a caramel.

"Ok update me," said Alice, tossing the wrapper carelessly.

"Potter has a strategy in place," said Lily, picking up a strawberry cream.

"A strategy?" Alice asked, popping the whole chocolate into her mouth.

"From what I can tell," Lily replied, nodding. "I rumbled him last night. Hence the emergency meeting."

"Wha' he'djo?" Alice enquired thickly.

Lily took a bite from her confection, making sure to catch the sweet cream on her tongue. "Mm – he was fine at first," she started between blissful chews. "Just Potter you know? Cocky. But he had this shy thing starting off –"

"_James_?!" Alice said, wide eyed. "James and shy in the same scenario?"

Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Sorry. No interruptions. Continue."

"Yes shy. Caught my attention too. I'd steered clear of the sofa –" (Alice nodded since she'd taken to interrogating Lily about her various dreams) "– and he mentioned _ever_-so-innocently for the third time about why we weren't over there. No teasing, you know? Like he wanted _me _to move us over there. Oh and this was after he'd tickled my feet and..."

Lily exposed the purple bruise appearing on her pale knee.

"Kissed the owie better.'

Alice's hand shot into the air, the other attempting to unwrap a chocolate.

"Question?"

"Explain the owie?"

"Banged my knee on the table," said Lily, uncrossing her legs from under her to mimic her position during the occurrence. "Foot up on the seat, knee showing above the table. He leans over and kisses it. Swear he looked panicked for second too."

"Understood," Alice nodded. "Then he enquired about the sofa again? And you..."

"Well once I realised what he was trying to do –"

"Who were you to deny him that comfy seat?"

"My thoughts exactly."

"So where do you need me in all this?" asked Alice with a knowing grin.

Lily smirked back. "Your mission, should you wish to take it, is reconnaissance. You my wonderfully feminine friend, will play for both sides. You will use your wiles to weedle answers from our Marauder boys, under the pretence of trying to help James and I get together."

"Pretence?" Alice asked, raising her eyebrows.

For the first time since they'd sat down, Lily felt uncomfortable. She avidly inspected her nails.

"The outcome I would like is that date to Hogsmeade," she said after a moment. "I'm still too unsure of what I'm feeling to think any further into this than that. I _need _to go on this date to set my mind straight. And since his current strategy seems to involve not asking me out – no I am not asking him myself –" She added in before Alice could speak. "– I'm going to have to break his resolve. I tested the waters last night. He's determined, I'll say that for him, but I know he was reacting to me. So I need to up the ante."

"How exactly did you 'test the waters'?"

Lily cocked an eyebrow.

"Do you remember the day you got Frank to drag you out of the library when he was halfway through his beloved Herbology essay?"

"Oh, you mean the time I bent over right in front of him and then hugged him with half my cleavage on show and my chest pressed right against –"

Alice's eyes went wide with comprehension.

"_Lily_!"

"What?" she asked, eyes wide with false innocence.

"You pressed your lovely jubblies against James Potter?!'

"Perhaps," she said, fighting the cackle that comes with this kind of plotting. "I may have also flashed some thigh. Oh and I was driving him mental with _innocent _comments in an _innocent _voice.'

Alice promptly proceeded to choke on a chocolate.

"If I may quote Molly Prewett," said Alice after her eyes had stopped watering. "You _scarlet woman_!"

The laughter burst from Lily now. Molly Prewett had been a fellow red-head whom Lily and Alice had met at Frank's seventeenth birthday. Her husband Arthur was good friends with Frank's father at the Ministry and both of them were actually distantly related to the Longbottoms. Despite the fact that Molly was older, and had several children in tow, she'd been rather talkative with Lily and Alice.

Molly had a nurturing side, rivalling anyone Lily had ever known. in the few hours they'd spent together, she'd preached to Lily and Alice about how to have a man treat you with respect and that they were above wearing short skirts and low cut tops and giving themselves away too easily. Lily had took her words seriously... well regarding the male of the species anyway. The wardrobe rules were a little extreme for her. And every time she heard her mutter the words '_scarlet woman' _when she saw any girl at the party flashing too much flesh, Lily had to stuff her knuckles into her mouth to stifle her giggles.

But she supposed Molly must have been onto something. Between the look her husband got whenever he was in her presence, or the wonderful children they shared, there was no denying her principles had a lot of perks.

"We should write to her," sighed Lily, unwrapping a hazelnut surprise.

"Definitely," said Alice. "Wish I could see her face though when we tell her you _finally _fancy Potter. She'd clocked the two of you straight away."

Potter had indeed been at attendance with his parents. Lily had avoided him all night, much to Molly's amusement.

"Yes, yes I'm sure she'll jump up and down then send me a howler back screaming '_I told you so!'" _said Lily, rolling her eyes.

Alice was, all of a sudden, looking at her in an extremely funny way.

"What?" asked Lily, rubbing her face, thinking she must have chocolate smudged somewhere.

"I just said you fancy Potter," Alice said slowly, her blue eyes gleaming. "And you didn't deny it, or refute the fact in any way."

Lily felt herself blush, but steeled herself. She called on every ounce of Gryffindor courage in her; and nodded.

"Yes."

Both she and Alice blew out a long breath at the same time. And then promptly started to giggle.

"Ok," said Alice, composing herself. "You have another tutor session with James in two days. While you're there, I'll consult with the other Marauders. Now about upping the ante?"

"I was actually hoping you'd help me with that." said Lily. "See, I don't want to come across like a – dare I say it – _scarlet woman _around him all the time. I'm trying to get him to ask me out, not throw me down on a table."

Alice raised her eyebrows sceptically. Lily blushed but smirked.

"I've only just admitted I've fancied him you're not getting anything else out of me right now. But I want to do this properly Al. I don't want what ever this might become to be just a cheap shag. How do I do that? How do I make myself irresistible without shoving everything in his face?"

Her best friend simply looked at her for a moment, before her face split into a grin.

"I think I've got an idea."

***

"Prongs trust me! Just a little bit! I swear I've had women throw themselves at me with this!" grinned Sirius.

"For the last time Padfoot," said James, attempting to flatten his hair. "I am _not _wearing your cologne!" He promptly gave up with the jet black mess. "This is a tutor session, not a date. I'm sticking to the plan. This is strictly a friend helping another friend. Besides you've only ever shagged two girls.'

"Two more than you on the last count," said Sirius, settling for spraying his cologne on himself. "Plus no one else knows that."

"I don't see why you care," James said, pulling on his second best jumper since his Gryffindor one had gone missing.

"Don't really," Sirius shrugged. "But why spoil their fun. Everybody thinks I'm a stud, which in itself is a true fact, so why tell them otherwise. You see –' he clasped his hands together, staring doe eyed at the ceiling. "– I'm really rather selfless like that.'

James snorted and was then swiftly struck by a stray pillow.

"Hey I was being serious!"

"You always are," said Remus, who'd just came out of the bathroom. "Prongs give it up already or you'll end up bald," he added when his hand had started tugging and combing again.

"But Lily doesn't like in messy,' whinged James, settling for ruffling it to its messiest. "Bloody sack of shit. She's a complete hypocrite too you know! I've seen her fluffing her ridiculously nice hair up just like I do!"

"Do you think we should explain the differences between men and women to him again?" Remus asked to Peter, who chuckled.

"Shut it for a minute Moony yeah?" said Sirius, watching as James got more and more frustrated.

James was thankful for that. He was barely keeping himself calm right now, he didn't need them ragging on him, even if it was just playful.

"What's up Prongs?" asked Sirius, clearly clicking on that something other than them was bugging him. "Is it about meeting Evans? Because the cologne offer still stands."

James had to crack a grin there, but drew breath anyway. He still hadn't told them of Lily's behaviour at their last encounter. But it had to be done.

"Actually it's about our last meeting," he said quickly. "I think she was... well I'm probably crazy but I thought, maybe, for a minute, shewasflirtingwithme.'

He said it so fast but they all seemed to understand. Sirius blinked.

"What did she do?"

Swallowing, James ended up ruffling his hair habitually.

"She, er, she was talking in this _tone_. Sat really close to me on the sofa, like bodily contact close. And... she hugged me."

"Well she might have been," started Remus, shifting uneasily. "But Lily _does_ hug quite a lot. She does with me –"

"No," James said, closing his eyes at the memory. "I mean she _hugged me. _With her –" he gestured around his chest " – against me."

"_Lily Evans_?_' _said, Sirius, sitting down. "Pressed her jubblies against you?"

Turning back to the mirror, James nodded but refrained from telling them of her, what seemed to him to be, _suggestive _comments. It was probably just him being a randy git again after all.

He caught sight of Moony's thoughtful expression in the glass, his brow furrowed in the way it was when tackling a particularly vicious essay.

"Moony wotcha thinking?"

Remus shook his head, closing his eyes.

"Not sure yet," he muttered. "There's something weird. Ask again later."

Just as he checked his watch, thinking that Moony was like one of those Muggle magic 8 balls, there was a knock on their door and he jumped. _Shit, she's not supposed to be coming up here! She's going to cancel. Oh shit she's going to slap me!_

"Merlin Prongs chill out," said Sirius under his breath as Peter opened the door.

Thankfully it was only Alice, a slim box under her arm and he breathed a sigh of relief. _Wonder why she's here. Oh shit I bet Lily sent her to tell me to shove off!_

"Good evening boys," she said, entering without asking.

"Welcome to our most private sanction," greeted Sirius with a bow. "To what do we owe this honour and disturbance?"

"Is Lily cancelling our session?" James blurted out, mouth and brain not quite in unison.

Alice looked at him, a slight smirk on her face. "Not that I'm aware of. She's been in _your_ room since tea. But I'd go now, she'll kill you if you're late."

James didn't even paused to say his 'see you laters', just immediately bolted from the room with his bag.

"So, not that it's not delightful, but why the visit Alice?" asked Remus, closing the door after James.

The blonde simply walked over to James' bed and plonked herself down.

"It's time the four of us had an important chat," she said, opening the box. "Chocolate anyone?"

***

James was panting by the time he reached the portrait of the Gryffindor lion. The way Alice had said '_your_' room had almost sent his brain into meltdown. Because she was right. This was _their _room. The room the two of them spent time in together; intimately. The place that had sofas and books and bathrooms...

And _bedrooms._

James swallowed hard multiple times and choked the password.

"Strawberry cream." _Lily's favourite._

The lion growled approval and the door swung open for him. He walked in, looking to the desk, but finding it empty.

"Lily?" he said into the room.

That's when he heard a the soft shift of fabric on fabric, and rhythmic breathing coming from the sofa.

"Lily?" he said again, softer.

The plush carpet cushioned his steps until he reached the back of the settee, intending to make her jump.

But his eyes widened at sight that he met.

**OOOOh another cliffie haha**

**Please let me know if i've done an all right job or not :D and like i** **said the next should be up soon! Love to you all! XXXXXXXXXXX ps sorry about the edit but i want to do this right  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Woo i managed a reasonably quick update! And its my longest chapter so far too! Can you say 'on a roll!'?**

**As always thank you, thank you, thank you to all my wonderful reviewers and just anyone who takes time out of their day to read my work. And never fear i won't keep you waiting long after this chapter either ;)**

Chapter 6

"Chuck me another fudge one and say that again?"

Alice smirked at Sirius, refraining from making a 'Fudge nudger' joke and threw the golden foil wrapped sweet into his lap.

"Lily Evans fancies James Potter."

"Ok, lets say for a second we believe you," said Sirius, ripping off the wrapper. "Why are you telling us? You do realise we'll tell James, which will result in Lilykins turning you into a big splodge of jinxed jelly?"

"You will not be telling James anything," said Alice casually inspecting the ends of her hair for splits. "I'm sure after five years of listening to him whinge about our lovely Lily, you are all willing to hear my plan?"

"I knew it," said Remus carefully scooping the insides of his caramel out with his pinky. "Come on then. I take it you already know about James' plan?"

"Moony shut up!" squeaked Peter through a mouthful of orange cream.

"What the plan whereby James becomes Lily's friend and she realises just how wonderful he is and ends up asking him out?" shrugged Alice. "Lily's figured that out already. The fact that James is still breathing should be some indication that I am, in fact, not joking."

They all stared at her.

"Merlin you really _aren't_ joking?" asked Sirius.

"Nope. However there was one fatal flaw in your plan, other than the fact it was pretty obvious to an outsider."

"Pray tell?"

"Lily is stubborn," said Alice, popping a double choc into her mouth. "Did you all honestly think that after five years Lily would just immediately throw herself in James' direction? Even if she does like him, she's got resistance like a concrete block!"

"But Lily's more confident than anyone bar Sirius," said Remus. "If she wants something she goes for it. I thought she'd do the same with James."

Alice shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Not with this kind of matter. Boys I mean."

"Why not?" asked Peter, hanging his head upside down off the end of his bed.

"There is a reason but it's not my place to tell," said Alice, quickly thinking of getting off this subject. "But anyway back to the matter in hand. We need to break James' resolve. Now Lil doesn't know I'm telling you any of this, she thinks I'm just weedling you for info –"

"Why sweet Alice," said Sirius, sitting back onto his elbows. "All you had to do was ask!"

She rolled her eyes in a manner Lily would've been proud of.

"Put it away for a minute would you Sirius? I'm taken," she said. "As I was saying, you can't let Lily or James know what we're discussing. Lily is already working on breaking James as we speak. But you can help. Lily would like James to ask her to Hogsmeade. That is your mission. Plant the idea in his mind. Should you all succeed, I'll bring more chocolates."

With that, Alice got up, skipping to the door.

"How is she trying to break him?" asked all three just before she closed the door.

Alice's blue eyes almost twinkled with knowledge.

"All I'm saying is, James won't be sleeping in _here_ tonight."

***

James watched in awe as Lily's chest rose and fell with every deep, rhythmic breath. Her eyes were closed, a book open in her lap, but it was the soft surge of her breasts against the scarlet jumper she was wearing that held his attention.

_His _jumper.

His favourite lucky Gryffindor jumper that he'd played every single Quidditch match in. The one with the raggy hems and faded elbows and that had been stretched so many times with an enlarging charm it was starting to look a little distorted. But it remained a bright scarlet and the emblem stood out, bold as the day his Dad had given it to him. He wore it so much, the House Elves had immense trouble actually prying it from him for long enough to wash it. Sirius affectionately called it James' security blanket.

But right now his security blanket was housing the warm, petite body of Lily Evans. It surrounded her skin. No doubt that right now, her scent would be permeating into the very weaves of the fabric. Her erect nipples could be detected by James' unbroken staring, pushing against the material.

Little did James know that Lily was, in fact, awake. What's more, she'd deliberately teased her nipples to hardness moments before he'd entered the room.

_Rise._

_Fall._

_Rise._

_Fall._

He was unaware of the fact his breathing now mimicked hers. Or that a soft almost-groan was escaping on each exhale. What he _was _aware of was that there was no room in his jeans, just a throbbing that ached to be attended to.

His gaze slowly took in the rest of her appearance, drinking in and savouring the sight. She was wearing pyjama shorts; but not obscenely short shorts. The plain grey, jersey material reached two thirds of the way down her thigh, although the left leg had bunched up, revealing more bare skin: Soft looking, creamy, milk-white skin. Her dainty feet and ankles were wrapped in red leg warmers, just the very tips of her toes and scarlet coloured nails on show. One hand lay across her stomach, while the other resided, palm up, next to her beautiful face. Her mane of red hair was spread over the arm of the settee, shades of copper illuminated from the light in the equally fiery hearth. Her face was a picture of pure tranquillity. He felt as though the image was literally burning itself into his memory.

Lily Evans; to him, the epitome of eroticism.

The desperate, hormonal, sexually driven seventeen year olds brain was swirling. Oh merlin the idea of waking her by taking her gorgeous, slightly parted pink lips with his own had him clutching the back of the sofa. Or better yet, lifting his very own jumper off her and suckling the little buds of flesh already ripe for the tasting...

But before his mind went into a total meltdown, his eyes settled on one flaw in this otherwise perfect picture. So amazed had he been by the amount of her creamy legs exposed, James had failed to notice the large, now purple with a yellowish tinge, bruise marring the skin on her knee. A bruise, he mused, which was almost worthy of the claim a Bludger had caused it.

Then his stomach suddenly turned a little as he realised it was _his _fault that her beautiful skin was so badly blemished. The sound of the _thunk _when her knee smacked the table echoed through his head, making him cringe. Instead of offering to heal it for her, what had he done? Took the opportunity to kiss the boo boo. _Stupid wank stain._

He moved around the sofa, pulling out his wand with the intention of healing her knee. But the closer he drew to her, the more his body hummed with excitement and temptation, every sinew of his being registering the close proximity of the form. Even in the depths of sleep, without moving a muscle or being aware of his presence, Lily was like an on switch for his male instincts to march directly to the front lines.

Complete with canon. Fully armed. Ready for action.

Crouching down beside her, James took several deep, calming breaths; which only succeeded in pumping more blood in the wrong direction when his lungs filled with the sweet scent that was Lily. He swallowed hard, thinking of the cold shower/frantic wank he might try to sneak away for, and tapped his wand gently against her bruised leg, non-verbally healing her so she didn't wake.

No such luck though. Because stupidly, despite his effort to stay quiet, his fingertip betrayed the restraint he was attempting to force upon himself. As soon as the coloured blemish disappeared from her flesh, James reached out, barely brushing the tip of his digit across the tiny expanse of her skin.

The softest skin he'd ever felt. And as soon as he touched her, the sleeping beauty stirred and he pulled his hand back as if she'd burned him. Which, lets face it, she probably would've with the aid of her wand if she'd woken to find James' hand on her.

Knowing he should move, but with his limbs found to be on an abject strike, the black haired male watched as, with the grace of the most beautiful feline, the woman before him yawned, stretching her arms well above her head, her breasts pushing even more prominently against his jumper...

Had his brain been functioning, James probably would've had the feeling this was going to be a long, interesting night.

***

_Stretch. Just a little longer. Perfect._

From the moment she'd heard James approach the back of the sofa, Lily's body had been tingling.

She'd known he was staring at her. Hell she'd waited almost five minutes for him to move at all. She'd heard the way his breathing had shifted; she almost suspected he was touching himself at one point, judging from the almost-moans that had been leaving his mouth.

And the thought had excited her to the point of her own arousal. It was only through strength of conviction and the hope he was watching her ample breasts while she 'slept' that had kept her own breathing steady.

This magnificent gem of an idea had come from Alice. Apparently the best sex Lily's blonde haired friend had ever had was after Frank had found her walking around his bedroom, wearing nothing but his t shirt and her knickers.

He'd later disclosed in the sweaty, tangled sheets that there was _nothing _sexier than a man's dream girl scantily clad in the clothes of her mate. It was in the vein of the alpha man pride he'd said. When the woman wore their clothes, it was almost a statement to everyone else, even if there was no one to see it, that the girl in question was theirs. For she wore their 'mark'.

Funny how it didn't work the other way round. The picture of Frank in one of Alice's

strappy vest tops somehow didn't create the same effect.

Nevertheless it was an idea she could work to her advantage. With a little tweaking, Alice had helped her turn scantily clad into cosy, with a side dish of alluringly sexy. Nabbing Potter's jumper had been relatively easy, slipping up to the Marauders dormitory whilst all four were comfortably seated in the Great Hall and no doubt stuffing their faces.

And all seemed to be going rather well at this point. Lily was definitely aware that she had Potter's _full _attention. She'd almost lost her calm demeanour when he'd came next to her, his masculine scent amplified by both his jumper and his presence. It was like her whole body heated the closer he came. She could definitely relate with the whole moth-to-flame thing now. But she had lost it when he'd touched her, the resulting jolt of heat inside only just covered by the way she pretended to stir from her sleep.

Maybe a job as a Muggle actress could suit her. Probably a safer option than the Ministry too these days.

Thinking she'd left her chest out long enough, Lily relaxed, going over her back story one more time before she opened her eyes, exposing herself to the hazel she knew she'd see.

"Mmm, James?" she said, rubbing her eyes for added effect.

"You were asleep." he said, sounding very husky. The sound gave her the shivers like someone had ran their nails down her spine.

She cocked her head to the side, still playing dopey. "Why are you down there?"

His blush made her swell with pride.

"Your knee," he said quickly, shuffling back a little. She sat up, looking at where the bruise had been.

And she nearly melted.

"That's so sweet of you!" said Lily, completely sincerely. "I'm sorry I fell asleep. I got comfy reading and then I just got cold –"

She abruptly stopped herself when she saw, with satisfaction, that James was staring at her shoulder, which his large jumper had slipped off, revealing her freckled skin. She passed her hot flush off as embarrassment.

"Sorry about wearing your jumper," she added quickly. "I got cold and it was just here – do you want it back?"

"No!" practically burst from him and he cleared his throat. "I mean no, keep it if your cold. It's fine."

A silence descended and Lily was starting to get worried, maybe she'd pushed too far too soon and James was freaked out...

"So are you planning on hogging all the sofa or can I get up?" he asked teasingly. "I'm losing the feeling in my legs."

Lily felt herself smile and she shifted her legs round as James got up.

"I am sorry about falling asleep," she said again when he sat down next to her. His jeans grazed her bare leg and she had to stop herself rubbing against the rough material.

"Don't worry about it. Have you still not been sleeping well?" asked James, searching her face.

"Better recently," she said truthfully. Now instead of the dreams waking her, she slept right through, and she certainly wasn't complaining anymore. "Sleeping in here tonight though. Hence –" She gestured up and down her body with a sweeping arm "– getting comfortable."

Lily was pleased to see his eyes briefly scan her form before returning to her eyes, his neck rather red.

"You're sleeping here?" he asked.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Frank and Alice want alone time. The 'fly-round-to-the-damsels-window-then-keep-her-in-distress-all-night' kind. All my dorm girls found other bedroom arrangements. I believe tonight you will share company of marvellous Mel in your bedroom with Sirius."

James let his head bang onto the back of the sofa and he groaned, but not in a good way.

"Thanks for the heads up," he said, moving to ruffle his hair but stopping short. Lily beamed. "That'll mean a silencing charm. I swear Mel's part Banshee."

"I know only too well," said Lily, shuddering. "Sirius has paid her a few bedtime visits. Not fun."

James started to laugh. "Have-Have you noticed the way S-Sirius sounds like a car that won't start?"

Those frightfully disturbing moans bounced around Lily's skull.

And she laughed until tears poured down her face and a stitch stabbed between her ribs.

"It's so true!" she squeaked eventually, wiping her eyes.

"Its a lovely thought, knowing that's what I'll find going back to my dormitory tonight," said James grimly. "Maybe I should record it and blackmail him into learning a proper silencing charm."

"Sounds like a plan," said Lily, steeling herself at the thought of what she was about to say. "But I think I can go one better."

James gave her a sideways glance. "Which is?"

"Wellll," drawled Lily, trying to pass this off casually. "If you help me study until say half nine and then you decide to go back to the common room that's both of us alone and bored for the rest of the night. Plus you'll have the disturbing car sex soundtrack once bedtime rolls around. Why don't we both just stay here?"

***

James blinked.

Once.

Twice.

And he still hadn't understood.

"What?"

He watched those gorgeous green eyes roll.

"Come on I know you'll end up bored once you leave and so will I," Lily said matter-of-factly. "Keep me company? Besides I really want to try human Transfiguration tonight and I think it'll take longer than the hour we'd planned."

_Oh I'll last longer than an hour Evans... yeah right._

"All right then," he said, half absolutely ecstatic, the other terrified about what he was getting himself into. A whole night with Evans. Could he really handle this without ruining everything?

Guess he'd soon find out, wouldn't he?

"Thanks James," she beamed, and he felt a huge amount of pride from the smile he'd put on her face. "So what do you want to do first? Get the work out of the way?"

He debated for a moment an idea setting itself up in his head... and stomach as it growled.

"I think first," he said, standing and holding out his hand to her. "We should get some nibbles. And perhaps a hot chocolate with cream for the lady?"

Pride swelled again when he saw the green of her eyes sparkle with delight.

"I am completely and utterly in support of that plan!" she said, jumping up.

When her hand slipped into James' and he led her to the portrait hole, he could at least revel in the fact that the night had _started _well.

**See the web that women will weave? I hope i did this chapter justice, it was quite a challenge this one. Please let me know if i fell down anywhere or anything you praticularly liked :D much much love!!!! XXXXX**


	7. Chapter 7

**I deeply apologise for the amount of time between updates but i have had literally no time to write over these last few weeks. Life got on top of me rather badly. I should perhaps explain that i use writing as an escape. Most of the time i find it relaxing and i genuinely enjoy it. But in order to do that i actually need time available to spend on it. Needless to say the fact that i haven't has been proving annoying. I cannot guarantee updates on certain dates and i am sorry if that means some of you lovely readers choose not to continue following my story. But what i can promise is i won't be quitting with this story. If i have a large gap between updates it isn't because i've lost interest, it's because i simply have other priorities (believe me, i'd love to just be able to sit and write all day). I feel this chapter is not my best, as i didn't have a block of time to work on it, but i hope it is enough to hold you all over. Thank you to every single person who has reviewed and favourited my story. I am not worthy.**

Chapter 7

It dawned on Lily as she clutched her mug of hot chocolate, the porcelain so hot it almost burned her palm, that not too long ago, she would've thought herself insane.

She was walking with Potter.

Hand in hand.

Wearing his jumper.

In _public!_

And though a small part of Lily still somewhat loathed to admit it, it felt... well rather wonderful. In the moments they shared alone, she felt utterly comfortable. Even in the silence, which there generally wasn't a lot of, no tension filled the air. It was just as easy to walk along, stealing fleeting glances, listening to their footsteps as it was to laugh and tease. Even venturing to the kitchens (something she had felt rather awkward about doing in the past) felt easy and natural. All the elves had greeted James with such a clearly familiar warmth that any discomfort Lily felt about asking them for libations had quickly evaporated. They seemed blissfully happy at the prospect, packing a little basket with items for them to take.

"I can't believe how many different types of biscuits you wanted!" said Lily, shaking her head in disbelief again as he struggled to extract one from the basket hanging off his forearm, without taking his hand from hers.

_That really shouldn't make me as happy as it does, _she considered with a little smile.

James flashed her a grin when he achieved success, popping a whole custard cream into his mouth.

"I'm a growing boy. Besides I heard you ask for the jaffa cakes so don't get all hypocritical," he said with an elbow nudge that nearly sent her hot chocolate flying.

"Careful!" Lily screeched, snatching her hand from his to save some of cream from slopping out with her finger. She fought back a grin as she sucked the digit into her mouth, feeling eyes on her.

Frothy cream melted onto her tongue and Lily was more than satisfied when she heard James clear his throat gruffly before he spoke the password.

"Strawberry cre-_am._" Lily didn't miss the crack in his voice, smirking into her cup. Swirls of the heady, chocolate aroma danced into her nose and the taste lingered on her tongue without her taking a sip. It was one of the scents that made up Amortentia for her. Never a bar of chocolate. The distinct scent that only comes from hot, sweet tasting liquid.

Guaranteed to melt her from the inside out.

"Er, Evans? Are you going in or are you going to stand there sniffing all night?"

A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth and Lily didn't reply, taking a long, deep swallow of the hot liquid, feeling the delightful heat work its way into her stomach.

And then her blissful, chocolatey bubble was abruptly burst when James scooped some of the cream out onto his finger, smirking at her as she shot him a glare.

"Oi, do you mind?!" asked Lily indignantly, grabbing his hand. Before she'd even had time for a scream of protest from her brain, she pulled his hand back and sucked _his _finger into her mouth.

An instant, horrified blush hit her cheeks and she let go, watching James' neck turn scarlet and his eyes widen. Lily wouldn't have even done that as part of her plan for breaking him! What was she thinking!

She cleared her throat awkwardly.

"Er, you – you _don't _touch my hot chocolate Potter!" she snapped, rushing into their room before James could respond.

Still perfectly horrified, her face on fire, Lily quickly set her drink down onto the table, the porcelain making a soft thunk on the polished wood, and threw herself into the sofa cushions, willing herself to sink right in.

_Get a grip, _she thought, trying to compose herself. _Be proud! You've probably just left him standing there horny as hell because you did that._

Despite her little internal pep talk, she grabbed her Transfiguration book to hide behind when she heard James close the portrait. Cringing as he settled next to her on the sofa, Lily tried to shake herself out of the embarrassment she felt and get back to her plan of attack.

A jaffa cake slid into view on her page. She instantly felt her mouth pull up at the corners.

"Peace offering for the crazy hot chocolate girl?" said James jovially.

Still smiling, Lily snatched it and shoved the whole thing into her mouth in one go.

"Merlin Evans you nearly took my hand off!"

"'Erves uoo righ'," said Lily thickly.

James snorted. "How very ladylike."

Lily quickly swallowed. "I'll have you know Potter," she started loftily, grabbing her hot chocolate again. "That I am perfectly ladylike. I may very well be the perfect woman don't you know?"

She took another deep draw of the liquid, glancing at James through her eyelashes all the while. She watched his adam's apple bob, but his face stayed calm, cocking an eyebrow.

"Careful Evans," he said, in almost a purr. "You're starting to rival _my_ ego."

"I don't hear you disagreeing Potter," she said softly back, licking the remnants of cream off her top lip.

Never had Lily felt her body react in such a way, to something as simple as the words they were currently exchanging. She was heating up, her skin practically one huge tingle. Or maybe it was the way James was currently looking at her. Normally it was round about now that he'd get all awkward, trying to restrain himself; but right now that seemed to be the last thing on his mind.

The brown in his hazel eyes seemed to darken, dropping to Lily's mouth, then back to her gaze.

"Can I have some?"

_YES! Have anything you like!_

She felt the cup being taken from her hand.

"Just a sip," said James, and this time it was him staring at her as he swallowed, licking his lips.

Oh Lily knew damn well she was getting sucked in, losing sight of her own goal in making this something serious, but right now she really couldn't care less. All she knew was she wanted that pink tongue that flitted over his lips in her mouth. Wanted those lips hungry on her own. Wanted to taste the mixture of cream and hot chocolate and whatever James Potter would naturally taste like.

_Later, _she reminded herself. _You can have that later. Think of that needy kiss he'll give you when he cracks. Drive him crazy first._

She crossed one leg over the other and squeezed her thighs together, trying to relieve some of the pounding heat that was arguing with her brain. He gave her the cup back.

"So human Transfiguration tonight then?" said James, clearly looking for a subject change. It seemed his brain had kicked back in.

"Yes if you think you can handle that," she replied, taking another drink. "I imagine it might be dangerous when I first try it."

"Good job you're in my safe hands then," James smirked.

_If only_.

"That's why I asked you to tutor me," said Lily. "I trust you."

She felt her face heat again but fought against it. She felt like a set of traffic lights tonight, constantly turning red. It was odd that her mouth had ran of its own accord there. But it was true. For a while now there was one thing she knew for certain: James Potter equalled safety. He would never let anything harm her. She wasn't sure how she knew, but it was a solid feeling through her whole being. The pride was clear on his face as he beamed at her.

"So you should."

"You know, I think your ego is perfectly safe from competition."

James snorted again.

"Two words. Sirius. Black."

Lily internally debated. "Point taken."

"Exactly. I'm not the one who spends an hour in the shower some mornings."

Lily couldn't help but laugh. "Oh Merlin what a woman! Even I don't shower that long!"

James laughed too and Lily decided she really liked the sound. She remembered the way his chuckle had reverberated through her on the train and found herself wanting to press her face to his chest to hear the vibrations properly.

"I've learned not to use the shower now."

Lily jumped all over that comment. "Ew, you don't shower? That explains a lot."

"Oi, don't make me tickle you again Evans!" said James, elbowing her in the side again. "I meant I've taken to having baths. Prefer them anyway."

"Wouldn't have pegged you as a bath person," Lily pondered.

"I wasn't until I went in the Prefect's one," said James. "I defy anyone to hate that bath."

"Oh I know what you mean," said Lily, replaying her earlier visit in there. "I love showers but I love those taps!"

"I know they're great aren't they?!" said James enthusiastically.

The comfortable atmosphere was back and Lily curled up rather close to him.

"Which one is your favourite?" she asked.

"There's one that bounces and makes these arcs," said James.

"Mine too!" said Lily laughing. "Have you tried using the diving board to jump through them?"

James' eyes suddenly darkened again. Lily realised what image must be in his head right now.

"I'll have to try that next time," he said, shifting his eyes from hers.

Merlin she'd never be able to go in that bath again without thinking that James had been in there too... naked. A vivid scenario of him joining her in the bubbles blossomed in her mind, burying her hands in his soaked black hair while his hands spanned her bare body under the hot water. She heated as though she really was immersed in that tub. Oh Merlin she wondered what he'd look like naked. His chest was toned enough to stand out through his wet shirt, so she could just picture what he was like topless. Yes he was thin but she'd bet her Head Girl badge that he was muscle under there... and as for lower down...

How amazing it was, the way he affected her. All he had to do was look at her in a certain way and her insides started to go insane. Her original dreams had resulted in her trying to push these thoughts away; now she couldn't help but embrace them during the daytime too. Often at the most inappropriate times. Her self control was slipping.

And when she'd be alone all night with him, that was a _very _bad thing.

***

_This is not good. This is not good. Calm the fuck down you randy git!_

James' restraint was slipping. Merlin this girl had no idea what she did to him! Talking about jumping off that diving board had set off a mural of undoubtedly wonderful ideas in his head. Wonderful if he'd been alone that is.

When she'd sucked his finger... Well needless to say he'd needed to wait a considerable length of time before following after her. He never known something could have him on the edge of coming in an instant. But the feel of her warm, wet mouth encasing his finger...

_Better not even think about it right now. _

And he just _couldn't _help the thoughts rushing through his head! Damn her for putting them there. Her and her stupidly green eyes, and hot chocolate that kept making her lick her lips. So badly had he wanted to know what kissing her would taste like, he'd had to steal a sip of that drink.

"What do you think I should start with?" Lily asked, putting her mug back down. _Ah yes he was here to tutor her after all._

"Er, well something simple," said James, looking at the textbook she pulled closer. "I'd start by enlarging something. It's generally the easiest."

He heard her stifling a fit of giggles and groaned.

"And you call me immature Evans?!"

"Oh come on!" she said, starting to laugh.

"Never realised what a dirty mind you're harbouring," he said, elbow nudging her. He'd been doing that a lot tonight, enjoying the extra contact he could get away with.

"You shouldn't make comments open to interpretation," she replied easily.

"Dirty minded interpretation," he said.

Lily simply smirked and returned to studying the page. "So what should I try to enlarge first?"

Just as the thought of her chestsprang into his mind, she flashed him a look with raised eyebrows. Clearly saying "_now who's dirty minded?!"._

"Har har Evans," he replied smoothly, although he wanted to smack himself for being caught out. "Why not try your hand?"

"What give myself a man sized hand?" Lily laughed, pulling her wand out from the pocket of her shorts.

James started to laugh too. "Give it a try!"

He watched Lily's face turn to serious concentration mode, attempting the spell twice, but to no avail. James observed her carefully, and noticed her wand movements were slightly off. Lily was marvellous at Charms work because she always had flourish to every manipulation of her wand. Transfiguration was more subtle and that's where she was falling down.

"Try twisting your wrist a little less," James said. "Focus more on the object than your wand. I think you're just flourishing too much."

Amazingly, she followed his direction without protest and to the letter. He grinned as he watched her fingers lengthen and thicken, the span of her palm growing wider. She laughed in triumph and he found himself beaming at her.

"See," James said. "Not as hard as you thought right?"

"Not when you help," Lily beamed, wiggling her huge fingers. "Thanks James!"

He laughed, putting his palm against her. It was only just larger than his.

"Try and reverse it?"

A mutter came from her and he watched proudly as her hand shrunk to its normal size, disappearing from his view as his suddenly swamped hers.

"I think you've got it," said James happily. "You're really not as bad as you made out."

Lily smiled, her cheeks flushing at his words. He felt his chest inflate. He could make her blush! He was about to take his hand from hers, but for some reason, he found he couldn't move it. The warmth of her skin against his was sense tingling. Even though her hand was dwarfed by his, he'd swear hers held the most strength.

"Your hands are..." he started, before he felt his face heat.

"Perfectly ladylike?" Lily supplied with an '_I told you so_' expression on her face.

He couldn't help but laugh and she did too, their contact finally ending when she reached for her mug. He watched that tranquil look spread across her face, just as it had outside the portrait hole when she raised it to her lips.

"Is hot chocolate your favourite?"

Lily looked across at him, her green eyes seeming even deeper than usual.

"Mm-hm," she nodded as she swallowed. "I love it."

"Ever had it with Butterbeer?" he asked.

"Is that even a real thing?" Lily replied, looking curiously from her cup, to the few bottles sticking out of the basket they'd brought.

"Dunno," said James, rubbing his palms together. "Fancy an experiment?"

Lily laughed and nodded. "All right then. Am I seeing some kind of glimpse into the Marauders way of thinking here?"

"You most certainly are," said James, opening one of the bottles and taking a gulp. "It's pure genius is what it is."

Lily snorted as she conjured another cup and tipped some of her drink into it. James sloshed in some of the Butterbeer. He looked at her and they laughed when they both eyed the liquid cautiously, neither wanting to be the first to drink.

"This was your idea, said Lily, sliding the cup towards him.

"No no Evans," James said, sliding it back. "This is your drink. Besides, thought you trusted me?"

He watched in amazement as Lily cocked her head to the side, picking up the cup. _Holy shit she actually does trust me?_

"I do this? Call me an honorary Marauder?" she asked.

James had to stop his mouth dropping open. He would have bet his broomstick that Evans would _never _think enough of him to even suggest such a thing. _Maybe I'm doing better than I thought!_

"Only for tonight," he replied, smirking. "To really earn that title, you'll need something much bigger than this."

"I'll get my thinking cap on," she said. "What did you do to earn it?"

"Now now that's top secret," James said, tapping the end of her nose. "Mind that."

"Oh come on, pleeeease," Lily said, her eyes going all puppy dog. James instantly felt the urge to spill every Marauder secret to her.

"Er, drink first," he said. "And I'll consider telling you."

"I'll tell you what," said Lily, nudging him with her elbow. His face split into an unbidden grin. "If you tell me a secret, I'll tell you one?"

James felt his mouth turn dry at that suggestion. Oh the things he wished he could tell her.

"I mean, we're friends now right? And I'd like it if we knew more about each other."

_Friends. _That word rang uncomfortably in his ears a split longer than the others. Lily wanted to be friends. Just friends.

His heart was starting to sink. Talk about see-saw emotional confusion. One minute James was sure he was making progress with her, the next he was flashing back to Remus' look of doubt. Lily was a friendly person by nature, despite the way she'd been with him for years. But he was curious to really know her, from the inside out... even if that meant only as friends.

"All right Evans," he decided. "Deal."

"Deal," she grinned.

With an easy move, she lifted the mug to toast him, before taking a mouthful. James waited a beat.

"Mmmm!" she moaned, licking her lips, handing him the cup.

His whole body stirred. Keeping his eyes on her, he took a mouthful. The hot chocolate was now even creamier and rich, sliding down into his stomach and leaving a warmer glow that he knew wasn't just from its temperature.

When he opened his eyes, they instantly fixed upon Lily's face, her cheeks pink and her mouth slightly wet, glistening in the flickering firelight. He realised, too late, that he was staring at them, lifting his gaze to her eyes. The pit of James' stomach erupted with those just-missed-a-step swoops, when he saw her eyes on his mouth too. He attempted to speak, but no words left him. Lily looked up at him, flushing. Her plush lips were ever so slightly parted and all of a sudden, James was shifting on the settee –

There was a loud hiss and James almost jumped out of his skin as a ginger kitten jumped into Lily's lap.

"What's the matter?" Lily crooned to the slightly squashed face.

Her cat hissed again at under the coffee table and James spotted a familiar, bald tail. _Oh you're fucking kidding me!_

"I, er, I'll go and get us more hot chocolate ok?"

"All right," said Lily, her face flushed much redder than before. "Sorry about Tigger. I don't know what scared him like that."

_I do, _thought James angrily, grabbing the culprit and putting him stealthily into his pocket as he 'took Lily's cup'.

"Tigger?" he asked as he stood.

"It's a Muggle thing," Lily shrugged. "If you hurry back I might elaborate."

James just grinned, moving quickly out of their common room.

As soon as he'd made it down the corridor, he pulled the, almost sheepish looking, rat out of his pocket.

"You. Are. Dead!" he hissed.

**Ps i checked before adding the Tigger reference haha. Points to anyone who can guess who Lily's kitten really is. XXX**


	8. Chapter 8

**Ahem... yes i know its been forever and this is terribly short, but i felt i had to get _something _out for all you lovely people.**

Chapter 8

"I don't hear anything," Sirius muttered for the fifth time.

Remus rolled his eyes, watching his hyperactive friend press his ear to the door of the abandoned classroom where they were hiding, three rooms down from the heads common room.

"Can you hear anything?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes. A Siriusly annoying bloke asking if I can hear anything," he answered, rolling his eyes when Sirius flashed the V's at him. "Pete said he'd do the secret knock when he was back."

Sirius sighed and straightened, casually flicking his dark fringe out of his eyes.

"You do realise if Prongs catches us, we're probably going to die?"

Remus nodded in agreement.

"But if it helps get him with Lily?"

Sirius let a tranquil look wash over his face.

"Ah, imagine the peace we'll get! No more sulky, whinging, moody, plotting Prongs!" he said with reverence. "Definitely worth taking a killing curse for."

"My thoughts exactly," said Remus.

A rhythmic knock sounded on the door and Sirius immediately bolted forward and wrenched it open.

"Its about bloody tim– ARGH!"

Remus jumped up from his perch on one of the unused desks, instinctively drawing his wand and training it on the door. Sirius huffed, crossing his arms as he hung suspended from his ankle.

"Wormtail I swear you're completely useless!"

Remus lowered his wand, gulping as Peter was forcefully shoved through the doorframe by James, his wand on Sirius.

"You're a bloody rat!" Sirius continued, clearly undeterred by the blood rushing to his head. "How in the name of Merlin's arse crack could you be that... that... _un-stealthy_!"

"I'm sorry!" Peter squeaked feebly. "No one mentioned that Lily now owns a tiger cub! I thought I was going to be eaten!"

Sirius continued to rant on until Remus saw James rolled his eyes and released him from the charm, letting him fall to the floor with a healthy thump.

"Would someone like to explain why you feel the need to have me spied on by a rat?" asked James, with a little edge to his voice.

"It wasn't spying," said Sirius, calmly brushing himself off as he got to his feet. "It was surveying and assessing the situation without your knowledge."

James snorted. "Isn't that the definition of spying?"

"Probably," shrugged Sirius with a wide grin. "But we have a perfectly selfless explanation. I mean don't you want an independent outsiders perspective of the chemistry between you and Evans?"

Remus may not have liked it very much most of the time, but he couldn't help but be impressed with the way Sirius could talk himself out of trouble. He watched as James frowned, shifting from foot to foot in indecision, before he lowered his wand with a scowl. Wormtail flinched characteristically when James pointed at him.

"Tell them then," he said grumpily. "But this is the _only _time understand! After this you all won't spy on us again. And if I catch you... or worse, if _Evans _catches you, be certain in the knowledge she'll hex your manhoods off. And then you'll be ball-less _and _have to deal with me haunting your arses, since she'll obviously murder me first."

He opened the door.

"Talk amongst yourselves. I've got hot chocolate to get."

James walked out and closed the door with a sharp snap. That left the floor open to Wormtail, who shook his head as if trying to clear it. Remus got the impression James wasn't truly upset with them, but something had him grumpier than Filch when he was due to clean... well anything really.

Sirius however, didn't seem worried by this at all and rubbed his hands together eagerly, beaming at Wormtail. "Spill! What has sweet Lilykins done?"

Peter rubbed his beady eyes, before looking from Sirius to Remus. They had learned long ago that Peter had an uncanny grasp on how people worked just from observing them. He always had the perfect read on people. It was especially brilliant for planning revenge pranks. While not really gifted enough to plan the actual event, Wormtail always knew where to hit for maximum impact.

Which is why his words made Remus' jaw drop.

"Lily's turned seductress and James isn't going to last long."

***

Lily absentmindedly scratched behind Tigger's ear, waiting to hear James' footsteps reappear. He purred contentedly, his bushy tail swishing softy against her arm.

"So what do you think of him Tig?" she asked conspiratorially. "Does he seem like the same git to you?"

Her kitten mewed softly, rubbing his face up against the scarlet jumper she was still clad in. Lily grinned.

"Well since you're completely impartial, I appreciate the support."

Tigger mewed again before bounding off towards the stairs that led to her private dormitory. Lily wondered how he had got into the heads room in the first place, shaking her head; that cat could sneak into anywhere.

Feeling rather warm due to the large fire and her new hot chocolate and Butterbeer mix (she considered her and James concocting a name for their new tasty libation) Lily toyed with the idea of removing James' jumper. She was a little more than reluctant at the thought though. Now that she was surrounded in the soft, worn fabric that smelled heavily of heady teenage boy, who _would _want to willingly take it off? It was heavenly. So instead she pulled herself off the cushy sofa, heading for the bathroom upstairs to splash herself with cool water.

It was starting to become part of her daily routine, she mused, as she observed the natural, but pleasant flush on her cheeks in the large mirror before her. _Merlin has it only __been a month since I was freaking out about this? _Lily touched a water cooled hand to the back of her neck, not wanting to detract from the almost pretty colour she had in her face at that moment. The loose sleeve of James' jumper slipped up to her bent elbow and she marvelled at how it swamped her frame. When James wore it, the sleeves were tight, subtly outlining his strong upper arms. And in contrast to the length of it on her, falling to nearly halfway down her thighs, when he stretched it rode up his torso, revealing a tantalising flash of his stomach, and sometimes the waistband of his boxers.

A familiar ache rose inside her and she closed her eyes to revel in the pounding heat. Merlin she was feeling wanton. Never before had she felt quite like _this. _Certainly her dreams had made Lily flush all over and her stomach swoop and her lips hungry for James' kisses... but this was different.

She wanted him. _All _of him.

She wanted to do things with him she wasn't even sure _how _to do. Sure she had dreamed about it. The kissing, touching and exploring, but what did she know? She had zero experience. But the thought occurred to her that she wanted to discover those things with him. And she wanted to be with him before, and after. Have him hold her, make her laugh, make her feel things she had never felt before. He was already succeeding on the latter. The thought both scared her and excited her to the point she thought she'd hyperventilate.

Calming herself with deep breaths, Lily realised just how much she wanted James Potter. Never had she trusted any male with herself, not since what she referred to as the 'forth year incident'.

She pulled a disgusted face at the mirror as she relived it. It still made her want to brush her teeth a hundred times over. Not even Alice knew about the 'forth year incident', not that there was much to tell.

For a few weeks she'd been reading up on History of Magic in the Library, finding it a lot more interesting once you perused it outside of Binns classroom. There had been a sixth year boy she thought was in Ravenclaw who took the table opposite her. She supposed he'd been good looking in a generic kind of way. Blonde hair, blue eyes and a shy if somewhat sly smile. She'd given him a smile back, but didn't speak to him.

On the third week, she got up to leave when he'd jumped out of his seat, moved to her and pressed his mouth over hers. It was not pleasant to say the least. Lily had swiftly kneed him in his manly places when his tongue had tried to enter her mouth and, mindful of being in the Library, growled at him that if he touched her again, it would be a severing charm assaulting his manly parts.

The cocky smile he'd worn despite the pain he was in still made her shudder in disgust.

Needless to say it had put her off the idea of kissing anyone else for a long time. But if she thought back to it, that incident made her harsher than she had usually been with James, so convinced was she, that he'd try something similar. In hindsight, Lily realised she should've noticed that James had never tried something that demeaning, no matter how badly he'd wanted her.

The thought made her smile with happiness and irony.

Because now it was _her _turn to do the wanting.

She thought back to the way he'd leaned close to her downstairs, so certain of what was coming. She'd been an instant away from closing her eyes and letting his lips descend onto hers. A thrill shot through her. How would he have kissed her? Sweetly? Hungrily? Or in some unknown way she couldn't even fathom?

_I've gone mad, _Lily thought as her eyes involuntarily closed and the swirls of her imagination made her tingle. She sat on the lid of the nearby loo, not realising she'd slightly tilted her head as the thought of James pressing kisses to her throat wandered into the picture she was creating. Lily had been in denial over the summer and so had fought any physical reactions to these kind of thoughts. But now, she felt the urge to touch herself, in all the wanton places she never had. Her fingertips trailed the skin of her neck lightly, sending a shiver through her, taking in James' scent at the same time as she inhaled at the shoulder of his jumper. Her other hand convulsed on her thigh, itching to add to the hot, needy burn that lay higher. Capturing her lip between her teeth, Lily's right hand reached her breasts, which felt a similar, but more subtle, ache to be touched.

The fissions her touch resulted through the fabric felt like more of a tease than anything. She imagined James' palm exploring her as his tongue caressed her mouth and she mimicked the gentle squeeze, causing a wave of heat to roll down and increase the already intense sensations between her legs.

Her left hand was moving higher up her thigh, taking the fabric of her shorts with it. The one at her breast was just about to venture under her clothes when she heard, "Lily?!"

She snatched her hands away, trying to regulate her breathing.

"Coming James!" she replied. _Or not as the case may be._

**Hope this tides you over! The next chapter will be longer and James centred! I also have a harry/ginny oneshot in stages of creation too. Thanks for being so patient! xxx**_  
_


	9. Chapter 9

**All i can do is apologise endlessly for my absence! I can assure you all i have not given up on this story, and now college isn't taking up my time anymore, i should have more time to write. Thank you for being so patient and for all those who've left wonderful reviews and added me. You make me proud of what i write.**

**This is for you Cheynee. Love you.  
**

Chapter 9

After Lily had replied from upstairs and James had established she had not actually left (because wouldn't that just be his luck) he set the flask of hot chocolate down next to the several new bottles of Butterbeer, ruffling his hair nervously whilst Lily was still absent.

He needed to pull himself together; and fast. To think he had been just a moment away from _kissing _Lily Evans.

The thought both thrilled him to no end, and simultaneously scared the shit out of him.

For almost five years now he'd been imagining that moment, in a whole visage of different scenarios. It ranged from the pair of them arguing, Lily screaming at him, until he pinned her against the nearest wall, and her lips unerringly meeting his in a dominance-fighting, fiery, full bodily contact kiss.

And then came the other end of the spectrum, the kind of kiss that they had almost been presented with that very night.

Firelight, a comfy sofa, Lily looking irresistible and that light first kiss that James would grace her with, attempting to tell her just how precious she was in his mind. His fingers would trail through her hair and she'd give herself over to him, hands splayed on his shoulders as their kisses deepened.

He sighed in exhaustion, sinking back onto the squishy cushions he'd vacated before. _Merlin Padfoot's right I'm such a girl sometimes. _

And at that thought he felt another pang of annoyance towards his fellow Marauders. Although he really shouldn't have expected any less from them, should he? Of course they'd spy on him when he informed them he'd be alone with Evans for more than five minutes. His knuckles tightened a little as the thought occurred that this may not have been the first time... merely the first time they'd been rumbled.

But the annoyance abated quickly; another part of his was actually grateful for the interruption, no matter however unwelcome it had seemed at the time. He'd had a very near miss tonight.

He knew Lily was not stupid; Lily was brilliant. And that meant trouble if he couldn't keep himself in check. He dropped his head into his hands, scrubbing his face. He suddenly realised the effort was futile. Lily Evans was his Achilles Heel. Everyone in the school knew that. This effort to be better behaved around her was working, true, but this tight leash was starting to cut at his neck, rendering him unable to breathe and think and function properly. He couldn't fight down the ever persistent animal need to be close with her. Mentally they were taking steps, why not with physicality too?

After all, perhaps it was this _look but don't touch _thing that was driving him out of his fucking mind.

And so James sat up, draining the Butterbeer from his earlier opened bottle and letting the liquid warm his stomach and lend him confidence in his choice. _Light touches,_ he told himself. _Don't be greedy, but don't starve yourself. _If she twitched, flinched or pulled back, he revert in a second.

If she blushed, he thought with a purely male grin on his face, he most certainly wouldn't.

_Back and forth. Back, forth, back..._

_Merlin this was difficult. _

Lily rocked upon the balls of her feet, stood on the very last step before the door back into the heads room. Her face was flaming.

_How in the name of Merlin was she supposed to look him in the eye?_

Not two minutes ago she'd been sat in the bathroom, thinking of James Potter having his hands on her, touching herself and _aching –_

Woah and there was the rest of her blood flaming her cheeks and neck to previously unseen proportions.

_He's going to know! _Her thoughts were gaining momentum on her like a growing hurricane of craziness. _He's going to look at me and he'll know!_

She could just picture the grin on his face, and the way his ego would inflate at the victory. The swagger he'd perform upon approaching her, all masculine, and the way he'd pull her against him and claim her lips with the certainty she wouldn't fight him off...

_Hmm, perhaps if he knew it wouldn't be so bad._

But another wave of embarrassment rushed over her when she realised she hadn't _really _cooled off as much as she'd thought upstairs. _He's going to know! _And the scenario played over. The power he'd hold with that knowledge was terrifying.

A little cartoon light bulb might as well have appeared about her head a second later.

_Well duh. Hadn't she suspected he was touching himself earlier? James was a guy. Guy's wanked all the time._

Her flush renewed yet again, but not entirely from Potter, to the best of her knowledge had only ever had eyes for her. Which meant he must think of her when he...

A realisation that would have previously disgusted her now caused a little grin to appear on her face. Lily still had the upper hand in this. She skipped off the last step, scoffing at her earlier notions. How could he possibly know she had thought about his hand on her breasts while she touched herself?

As soon as she walked back into the room, he smiled widely at her and the flush hit her cheeks.

_Shite he knows!_

"Hello again," he said, cheerily and clearly oblivious to her discomfort.

Giving an awkward, answering smile, Lily plopped down onto the sofa again, hearing a purring sound down by her feet. She especially tried to ignore the fact that James had stripped his own jumper off now, clad only in a deep blue t-shirt. She was hyper-aware of his muscley forearms and biceps pulling the material taut.

A wave of heat re-assaulted her middle. _Damn him!_

"Made a new friend while I was gone did you?" she laughed, watching Tigger curl himself around James' ankles.

"What can I say? There's just something about red hair that holds my attention," he said with a smirk.

Oh hell he was trying to make her blush.

The heat remaining in her cheeks told her he was succeeding.

"So what's the story behind Tigger here then?" James asked after handing her a fresh hot chocolate-Butterbeer concoction. "Careful it's hot."

Her lips turned up in a smile at his sweet concern for something so small. But by this point her drink wasn't the only thing that was hot. With a roaring fireplace and James' jumper the room was progressing into uncomfortably warm. She'd have to strip it off soon...

"Well," she said, blowing gently on the hot liquid. "When I was little I read these books called 'The Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh'."

Lily watched as James' lips twitched at the name and she rolled her eyes. He was still such a little boy in some ways.

"It was about a little boy called Christopher Robin and his teddy bear. It had different animals as characters and one was an orange and black stripy 'Tigger'," she said, specifying when she saw he still didn't get it. "Like Tiger but spelled wrong."

"Oh," James said, nodding. "Go on. This is a Muggle book?"

"A series of them," she said smiling. "Tigger bounces around on his tail and crashes into things. He was my favourite because he was so full of energy and silly!"

James grinned slyly at her, scratching behind Tigger's ear. "Sounds familiar."

Lily bit back a chuckle. "I have simply no idea what you mean Potter," she said, sipping her warm drink. "Your turn."

James immediately feigned ignorance. "For what?"

"Don't give me that," Lily wheedled, prodding his side."You owe me a truth."

She watched as he squirmed, uncorking another Butterbeer and chugging rather a lot of it quickly.

"You get to ask me one after," she said, bargaining.

James fiddled with the label on the bottle, before meeting her eyes.

"All right," he agreed. "Fire away Evans."

Hmm, the opportunity to ask James anything? A million things sprang to mind. That curiosity to know him better washed over her with a renewed vigour. Before she'd even considered her options, she blurted the words.

"Your first kiss?"

James paled. His hands stilled from his attempts to peel the label off his bottle.

"What about it?"

_Ah so he has kissed someone. _A little insecurity pulled at Lily but she attempted to push it to the back of her mind.

"Tell me about it?"

When he didn't answer immediately, Lily shifted her eyes to the fireplace, wondering if she was probing where she shouldn't. After all, if James asked her the same question...

"You don't have to-"

"I hated it."

Her eyes snapped back to him. James' voice was full of powerful regret, the flames of the hearth flashing in the lenses of his glasses, hiding his eyes from her.

"It was after losing the Quidditch cup in fifth year."

Lily frowned. "You mean the game when you were injured during play and missed the end of the match?"

James glanced at her, looking surprised she remembered. She shrugged.

"It was awful seeing you hurt like that."

"It was no party on my end either, trust me," he said wryly.

Lily's stomach churned, suddenly feeling the weight of all that chocolatey drink swirling around in the gut. James had collided with a Ravenclaw beaters bat so hard, his arm had snapped clean and his shoulder had dislocated so severely it looked like his arm was going to fly off. The way he'd passed out cold with the pain still made Lily shudder.

"Well when I woke up in the hospital wing, I was pretty out of it," he said, jaw clenched. "Whatever pain potion I was on was hardcore. Sirius thought it would be comforting if I woke up surrounded by sympathetic women. When he turned his back, one of them started to kiss me and I couldn't do much to stop her. And because I was all woozy, I wasn't sure who it even was. Moony pulled her off me and Sirius persuaded them to leave."

Swallowing a little, Lily watched as James exhaled, ruffling his hair.

"Not what I wanted you know? First kisses should be a test of a blokes courage. An experience that leaves you buzzing for days after."

Her heart went out to him. Never would she have suspected that James was so deep emotionally that he'd thought about something like that so in depth. Anger filled her that some stupid air headed bint could take a moment like that from him, without even a thought.

"Fucking bitch!"

Even James snapping back, staring at her with surprise couldn't abate the urge to interrogate every girl in Hogwarts until she found the right one and give her a good jinx to her, no doubt, perfectly make-uped face.

"Not jealous are we Evans?" James said with a chuckle.

"She had no right to do that," she said vehemently.

Worked up as she was, James' jumper became cloying and with a growl she plunked her mug down, pulling the scarlet material over her head. His hitched breathing did register, but she was too annoyed to care fully at the moment.

"I can't believe someone would take advantage of you like that. She's probably giggling about it even now! 'Oh check me out! I'm amazing I snogged James Potter when he was practically incapacitated!'

"And those idiotic, air-headed bimbos in your '_fan club' _probably have her as their ultimate leader! She's probably never brushed her teeth since that day and spends all her time reliving that moment that _so _validates her! Brainless, puerile, insensitive, egotistical-"

Abruptly, James wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to his side and resting his face softly against her temple. That stemmed Lily's angry rant instantly, the feel of James' warm form pressed to hers, his scent, his hold on her and his bare skinned forearm touching the large expanse of her own hot skin flustering her. But in a good way.

In an amazing way.

_Breathe. Remembering to breathe would be good around now._

"The way I see it," James said softly, into her hair. "Is that that was my first time _being_ kissed. That wasn't the first time _I _kissed someone. No one can take that away. Do I wish it hadn't happened? Of course. But regardless, I'll have that same nerve wracking moment as every other bloke leaning in to kiss their dream girl. No one can take away something like that."

Knowing it would seem extremely suspect, but unable to resist, Lily snuggled in closer, breathing his warm scent.

"Good," she said with a grin. "Wouldn't want James Potter deprived of a buzzing power trip would we?"

All James managed was a slight chuckle at her sarcastic tone.

He was holding Lily Evans. _Holding her! _And he was still in one piece!

Oh _Merlin _he must have died. There was no other explanation. Oh well at least he'd ended up in heaven. All that looking out for ickle firsties had paid off!

His eyes flitted down involuntarily, watching Lily's full breasts rise and fall, every single detail of their graceful curve barely contained in the thin white vest top she wore. So much of her ivory skin was exposed, and James' bare arm across her shoulders was registering every warm inch against his own.

_Merlin she's trying to kill me. _

He tried desperately not to squirm, but he was somewhat uncomfortable in his jeans now. Lily snuggled closer again, yawning and he froze where he was.

_Distraction, distraction, need a distraction!_

His Adam's apple bobbed with a swallow.

"Are you going to ask me something then?" Lily said with another yawn. "If you don't hurry up I'll fall asleep on you."

Glancing at the clock, James' eyes widened when he saw it was just gone half eleven. From over the years, James knew Lily was one of those early to rise types, and was usually in bed by ten. In contrast, being the Marauder that he was, James was able to stay up all night if he felt like it, opting to take a midday nap during History of Magic. Now that Lily had pointed it out though, he was starting to feel drowsy too. He was comfortably warm on the plush sofa, belly filled with Butterbeer and Lily's small body snugly against his.

A yawn pulled at his mouth and Lily giggled.

"Infectious yawning. Gets people every time."

James grinned. "Funny that. Yawns are infectious but so is laughter? That's just weird."

The vibrations from her chuckle made his hair stand on end. Suddenly, James was almost painfully aware of his hand resting on her upper arm. His fingers felt very heavy and almost itched with the urge to trail over her soft skin. Breathing seemed to become less of an involuntary reaction, more something he had to think about to keep steady. Desperately his instincts called for him to move, and at the same time that fear of reprisal kept him frozen in place.

His palms sweated. His heart jumped to an uncomfortable pace. But James was a Gryffindor, and bravery was what they did best.

With the tiniest fraction of movement, his fingertips tickled up. Then down. He felt and heard Lily's breathing shift unevenly, repeating the action with a little more certainty.

He froze in terror when she shifted, but she was just curling her legs up onto the sofa. With another swallow and breath, he softly trailed his fingers over her silky skin, pride swelling in his torso, adrenaline from his success making his beam.

Her small hand settled on his thigh. And her fingers began slowly swirling patterns.

The rush of exhilaration from the fissions of her touch through his jeans made James bite down on his lip to keep from making a noise. He wanted to pant from the sheer delicious torture of having Lily Evans touching him in a way that encouraged his over-active imagination. The throbbing returned in his pants, and he closed his eyes at the thought of her moving her touches higher.

"I feel so comfortable with you," she said softly.

And just like that, the magnitude of their current position overwhelmed him. All he had ever dreamed of having was almost in his arms, and here he was thinking like a horny git!

_Be a man, _he thought angrily. _Be a man, not a teenager._

"I can still ask you anything?" he said quietly, allowing that burning curiosity about everything Lily Evans to over-rule his hormones.

"Yes James," said Lily. "You were totally truthful. I want to be too."

"You don't have to answer," James said hesitantly. "But I was wondering... about your sister?"

Immediately, Lily tensed and her fingers stilled. James kept up his light strokes on her arm, and after a few moments, she relaxed a little.

"You got a letter from her the other day," he said, clarifying. "And you didn't seem very happy after reading it. Actually you always seem a little down after you get a letter from her."

James felt her torso expand as she took a cleansing breath.

"My sister," Lily began softly. "Hasn't been the same with me since the day we found out I was a witch. Or a 'freak' as she now calls me."

James felt a rush of anger. Bloody hell she couldn't catch a break could she? Shunned in the wizard world by those idiotic pure-blood bigots, then at the same time insulted by her own family because she has this amazing gift. He didn't realise how much crap she had to put up with.

"I know it's nothing to be ashamed of," she continued, watching as she continued drawing those distracting patterns on the blue denim covering his thigh. "I'm so proud of being a witch. I feel bad for Petunia most of the time; overshadowed by her little sisters special gift. But the sly digs she has in the letters, especially since Mum-"

She abruptly cut off. James knew why, and pulled her a little tighter against him.

Lily had carried a shadowed expression for months during their fourth year. It was the only time he'd seen her cry after one of their arguments. Alice had explained to him afterwards that Lily had lost her Mum over the summer, in a car crash. Echo's of pain from the loss of his own Dad pulled at James' mind and he took a breath.

"I know," he said softly, knowing he didn't have to clarify.

Lily nodded against him. The death of his father had been all over the wizarding newspapers in his second year, after an auror mission went wrong. Clearing her throat, she continued.

"Petunia has this boyfriend. Absolute whale of a bloke. I can't stand him and he can't stand me; and this is without him knowing about the magic. Petunia refuses to tell him. Needless to say, we're growing even further apart as we grow older. I love her, and always will as my sister, but I don't think we'll ever get along."

With a sigh, James slouched lower on the sofa, his head leaning against Lily's.

"That isn't fair for you," he said after a while. "But if there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that blood doesn't always matter. Look at Sirius. You know his brother is into all that pure-blood bullshit, but Sirius despises it. My mum treats him like a second son, and he is my brother, regardless of the blood in us.

I see the way you and Alice are connected, and it's exactly the same. You're sisters, just as much if not more so than you and Petunia. And now you have me too. And the Marauders. We're a family Lily and we look out for our own. Maybe in time, Petunia will realise what she's missing with you. And I rally hope she does, because with you, even the Muggle world is more magical."

The slight sniffle she gave was answer enough. When James pulled back slowly to look at her, he saw two identical tears rolling over her cheeks, her eyes closed and she looked dog tired.

"Thank you," Lily said a little hoarsely.

James gently brushed the tears from her face, before making to stand up.

Lily grabbed his arm.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"You're tired Lily," said James lowly, tucking her hair behind her ear. It didn't even register how much he was touching her right now, not when she was the most precious thing in existence and needed taking care of. "Lay down. I'll bring you a blanket."

"Please don't go," she said, complying with the lying down part of his plan.

James looked at her for a moment, unwilling to deny her. Summoning a blanket from the dorm upstairs, he draped it over her, lying down beside her. The way she snuggled close to him when he wrapped an arm over her form made him happier than he'd ever been.

"Sleep now Lils," he said with a yawn, feeling his own eyes droop.

**Yay its done! Finally we can move on to more sirius things :p as you can tell i've made things a little more focused on the pair connecting in this chapter rather than mindless smut. Fear not there will be heated moments to come, but i want this to remain realistic. xxx**


	10. Chapter 10

_I can only apologise for my absence and not delay you any longer. A full explanation is at the end. Thank you t__o IriaAngel for the tip on getting around the error messages!_

_For Rachael and Cheynee_

Chapter 10

Lily Evans may have been an early riser, but that didn't mean she liked waking up. Quite the opposite. Letting go of that pure peace of a deep sleep felt like such a crime to her. Like telling a child there's no Santa. Just plain mean.

This time though, something was different. There was the most _amazing _scent in her nose that she welcomed consciousness for letting her experience it. Burying her face deeper into her pillow, Lily stretched a little, trying to shift to a more comfortable position.

When she realised she was not alone she froze. A strange arm tightened around her waist, and her pillow expanded with a deep breath and its heartbeat thumped steadily against her ear...

Ok, so she was pretty certain it wasn't a pillow at this point.

Her entire being began to tingle. Every area of her body which was sandwiched against that of James Potter's sleeping form instantly losing that heavy limbed feeling that comes hand in hand with first thing in the morning. Somehow they had managed to both end up lying on their sides, bodies facing each other and James' torso twisted in such a way that she was able to rest her head flat upon his chest, whilst still having his knees curled up towards her.

Her knees were curled up too... and one of his legs was threaded between hers.

Seriously attempting to ignore the strong thigh wedged not too far from and all too tempting place, Lily rubbed her blurry eyes with her free hand, before looking up at James' face. She had to bite her lip to keep from bursting out laughing.

His mouth was slightly slack, his hair in even wilder disarray than usual and since he'd neglected to remove his glasses, they were extremely lopsided. One lens was actually resting over his eyebrow. Reaching up, Lily straightened them carefully, trying not to wake him. Now that she was more aware of her surroundings, she deduced it must still be rather early; the fires embers still glowed softly and barely any pale light was seeping through the gaps in the windows curtains. Every now and then the light would dip as the school owls flew by, returning from their nightly flights.

Shivering a little in the cold air, Lily pulled the soft blanket up over her shoulder, pressing closer to James form. He produced enough body heat it was like sleeping beside a radiator. She froze when he shifted, pulling her tighter to him, but all he did was mumble softly before returning to deep sleep relaxation. Huffing, Lily squeezed her lids down, trying to slip back into a blissful comatose state, even though she knew from years of experience it was a futile mission.

Although saying that, with the soothing rise and fall of James' breathing, the soft thump thump thump of his pulse, Lily found herself relaxing further down, into a delicate trance of semi sleep.

A light rumbling sound met her ears and she clenched her teeth.

"Don't. You. Dare."

She cracked her eyes to slits, glaring at Tigger as her snuffled the blanket at her feet.

"I won't get you anymore Minxy Mice," she hissed, knowing of his love of the edible chase giving cat toys. "If you so much as twitch-"

Too late. Tigger burrowed his way under the blanket and Lily screwed her eyes shut.

But she didn't feel the usual assault on her toes.

James twitched. Lily opened her eyes and watched, mirth bubbling as he snorted and jerked awake, thrashing.

"Hey – what – ow! Merlin's sagging OW!"

Tears of laughter rolled down Lily's cheeks and she clutched her sides as James dazedly ripped the blanket off his legs to reveal her kitten, clawing and knawing playfully with his sharp little fangs through James' threadbare socks.

"You sneaky little beast!" James said, sounding slightly impressed as he peeled a protesting Tigger off his toes. "Just as Evans stops ripping me to shreds you take over? Just brilliant!"

Wiping her eyes, Lily tried to stem the rising laughter. "He clearly knows its a serious job. Someone needs to keep that ego in check."

Watching James deposit Tigger unceremoniously onto the floor, her breath caught a little when he stretched his arms above his head; his spine arching in a pleasing way. After a worrying number of cracking noises from his various joints, Lily was bounced a little as he flopped onto his side to face her. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he grinned sheepishly.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi yourself."

An awkward silence ensued. Lily would've loved to burrow back close to James' body, but with both of them fully awake, her usual nerve seemed to have taken a holiday. A total Gryffindor sissy girl. Pathetic.

"What time is it?" James asked, looking around.

"Dunno," she shrugged. "I was too comfy to move and check."

_Ah yes, when courage abandons you just acquire verbal diarrhoea, same effect with extra humiliation._

When James cocked an eyebrow at her blush she huffed.

"Potter being a good pillow is not something to be cocky about."

"Are you calling me fat?"

"I didn't say that did I? Do I sense self esteem issues?"

"Not at all. I seem to remember you were much more interested in my physique than me Evans."

Her cheeks boiled and she glared at his lack of tact. It had been a long time since she'd felt so agitated for no good reason like this, not since a good eighteen months ago. But James pointing out her feelings in that way caused the red mist to descend.

"Git!"

"Witch."

"Urgh you're a total idiot!"

"Is that so?"

"_Yes! _You're just a stupid, Quidditch playing, prank pulling, ignorant, smart arse! And you're freakishly tall!"

Giving his shoulder a push to roll him over had no effect. Lily huffed at his smile.

"Move. I want to be up."

James hazel eyes twinkled behind his glasses. "No."

Lily's mouth dropped open in outrage. "Move!"

"No."

"For Gods sake do you live to rile me up?"

"Oh definitely."

Growling in frustration, Lily shoved with all her strength, trying to vault over him.

"You're such an idiot!"

"And you're gorgeous."

That froze her. In a flash, the connection she'd felt to him the night before, after baring the ugly relationship she shared with her sister, came flooding back. She looked down at him from her position of straddling his thighs. James' eyes were staring at her in total adoration, just an edge of heat darkening the intensity of his gaze. Unable to move a single muscle, Lily sat there as he sat up, bringing them face to face and so close her vision of him blurred.

Emotions jumbled and entwined inside her gut and her chest. Her heart beat out a frantic rhythm. From excitement? Terror? Anticipation? Honestly if her brain had have been working she still wouldn't have known.

_Fight or flight._

They remained there, unmoving for what felt like an age. Slowly, Lily felt the gentle brush of his fingertips pushing a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"Finished ranting now?" he asked softly.

"Yes?" she answered, although not entirely sure.

"Certain?" he breathed.

His nose bumped hers. Lily closed her eyes. Nodded.

_Tap tap tap._

Lily jumped so badly it was more like siren had sounded behind her rather than the noise undoubtedly made by an owl's beak on glass.

"Lily?"

_Flight._

Without a conscious decision, fear overflowed her stomach and she clambered off his lap, cursing internally at how much her legs were shaking beneath her.

'I'm sorry,' she said, wrapping her arms over herself.

James stood up, handing her his jumper. Snatching it, Lily pulled it over her head immediately, uncomfortable with how much skin she was showing. Out the corner of her eyes she saw James ruffling his hair but missed his expression.

'Lily-'

'I have to go,' she said, terrified of what he might say.

Her feet had her running for the door, the portrait shutting behind her silencing James' calls of her name.

'Lily?'

James stood frozen by the fire, in two minds whether to chase her.

_Damn it_.

The _tap tap tapping_ at the window caught his attention again and he scowled. Stalking to the window he threw it open and a school owl flew straight to the table. The letter was in its beak rather than tied to its leg so the bird simply dropped it onto the smooth mahogany before escaping out the window once more.

It was with unseeing eyes and a brain of sludge that James closed the window, sitting numbly on the sofa. What was it that had made Lily bolt like that? She had seemed fine, if a little nervous when he'd awoke. Was it the way he'd moved in on her?

No. She'd nodded her assent so James knew she'd wanted what he did. He'd never felt such excitement, almost static in the air in anticipation. If it weren't for that interruption...

James picked up the letter off the table.

_Lily Evans. _

He knew that writing and his blood boiled. In a mindless haze he tore the letter open.

_Lily,_

_You have to know how much I miss you. I cannot stand the thought of you cavorting around with those Marauders. You can never know how sorry I am for what I said to you; I will never forgive myself. I'm begging for your forgiveness. Know that I will do anything to earn it._

_Severus._

James didn't scoff or snort in derision. As much as it pained him to admit it, he felt for Snivillus. He despised him, as sure as the 'pure blood' that coursed through his veins, he knew he hated Severus Snape. But to have Lily, then lose her?

James couldn't imagine a worse punishment.

Didn't change the fact that Snape deserved it though. The only thing that had kept James from practically disembowelling that slimy bastard when he called Lily _that _was the fact she was standing right there. Not to mention that he imagined Lily's infliction would be much more painful.

And now he was _begging _for forgiveness? He would do _anything? _Kneasle shit would he! Lily's cutting ties with the greasy git hadn't stopped him licking arse and helping lead those Muggle born abusers had it? James knew Lily would never accept Snape while he carried on with those... James hesitated to think of them as people.

But if she was to forgive him?

Not a moments doubt entered his head when he hurled the letter onto the dying fire.

"All right Evans what gives?"

Inside Lily cringed but kept her face impassive as she tipped the required ground beetles into her cauldron.

"What do you mean, Black?"

Sirius sighed in frustration, tossing his dark fringe out of his eyes.

"You've not chewed me for my lack of work all week,' he said pointedly. 'You're quieter than I think I've ever seen you. And you've stopped talking to a certain head boy as much as before. Which in and of itself shows you find something more important than your head duties. So, what gives?"

Lily frowned in annoyance, shooting him a glare. "That was ridiculously profound coming from you."

This brought a twinkle to Sirius' eyes and a smirk that reminded her of another dark haired Gryffindor.

"Impressed?"

Lily fought the involuntary twitch at her own lips, turning back to their cauldron. "Never. Chop those roots for me?"

She heard Sirius sigh as he set to work with the silver knife she handed him.

"You can talk to me you know Lily," he said, startling her.

Bemused, Lily blinked at him for a moment.

"You've never called me that before."

"Yeah, well things change," Sirius shrugged, turning the flame down beneath their simmering potion before dropping in the freshly cut ingredients.

"I'm starting to realise that... Sirius."

"Took you long enough," he cheeked and Lily felt her cheeks flush. "Look, not going to lie Lily, this year you seem a lot more... fun."

She snorted. "Thanks. What was I before?"

"Uptight," Sirius informed her. "But with good reason. I get that whole routine of keeping up a front. Helps with the onslaught."

There was really no need to clarify that he was talking about the whole Blood Status thing. Lily shifted a little, before shrugging. It was odd that he seemed to have such a good read on her, since they'd hardly been on speaking terms before this year.

"My point is," he continued, ignoring her discomfort. "That now Lily's fun side is making more frequent appearances, and seems to like the company of the aforementioned Head Boy, it makes one wonder why you've suddenly gone into hiding again."

Skin squirming at the interrogation Sirius was smoothly delivering, Lily went on the defensive.

"Is this you asking Black or is this you prodding me for answers so you can run off and tell James?"

"Prongs is confused - "

"And what kind of a name is Prongs anyway? Stupid nickname doesn't make sense."

"Look woman, will you stop harping on and let me finish?"

"Mr Black?" Slughorn said, bouncing over to their table looking surprised. "Miss Evans, is there a problem?"

"No sir, no problem, just a difference of opinion over the amount of brewing time required," Lily answered smoothly, rolling her eyes at the Professor. "Black here was just annoyed he was wrong."

"Ah well few have your superior knowledge Miss Evans," he said with a wink. "Be sure to listen to her Black."

As soon as he was out of hearing range -

"Teachers pet," Sirius muttered.

Lily stuck her tongue out at him and he rolled his eyes.

"Good liar though."

"Aww Black you'll make me blush at this rate," she teased.

"Well all I have to do is say the name Jam-"

"Stop it!" she hissed, her cheeks instantly beginning to burn.

"You're making my best friend miserable," Sirius retorted, sounding annoyed now. "If you were getting some kind of twisted enjoyment out of leading him on with blushes and coy glances I'm going to give you an earful. If you weren't, I want a reason why you're avoiding him, and a decent one."

Lily tried to breathe deeply but the air was thick with suffocating potion fumes. She loosened her tie, unbuttoning the top button of her shirt. Her eyes drifted across the dungeon to James' desk, drinking in his expression. Usually a ghost of his most recent smile could always be detected on his face, even when he was totally focused on what he was doing. Today though, and everyday that had passed since she snubbed his offers of tutoring and head duties, that echo of happiness in him was absent.

And she cursed herself for being the one to take it away.

"I won't tell him," said Sirius quietly. "If its something making you look that unhappy, I won't breathe a word to anyone, on my honour."

Lily sniggered a little. "On _your _honour?"

Sirius smirked. "Fine then on _your _honour. Better?"

"Much."

She was silent for a moment and she appreciated Sirius' patience. It was enough to make her speak through the pangs in her stomach. Her eyes fixed on the bubbling potion.

"I'm terrified of being vulnerable," confessed Lily softly. "I've never had anything resembling these sorts of emotions before. Its scary and confusing and to be honest I'm not even completely sure how I feel. I know I like him. But what didn't occur to me was the implications of getting close to James. I'm wholly aware that he will expect us to be an item. Share... well everything, in the way couples do. Trust, secrets, intimacy..."

To his utter credit, Sirius didn't say a word, as though sensing she wasn't finished. Sneaking a glance at him, Lily saw he was frowning in contemplation of her words. He was really listening to her problems. It made Lily somewhat ashamed of her prior judgements; clearly foolhardy actions were deceiving.

"I'm scared that I won't be ready for all that. I've already had one friend break a trust that couldn't be resolved. It stays with you, niggling all the time. And as much as self preservation wants to keep me from heartbreak, I'm more worried about the outcome of James' feelings in all this. If I can't get passed that fear, I'll just be getting his hopes up."

Sirius nodded at the end of her admission, before throwing her a sidelong glance, a smile pulling at his mouth.

"And the physical side of things?"

Though her face heated spectacularly, Lily managed a chuckle.

"You're a typical bloke. No that doesn't frighten me per say, but I wouldn't want to move too fast. That's never worried me, I trust James."

Rubbing his forehead slowly, Sirius looked at her strangely.

"Let me get this straight. You trust Prongs not to shag you senseless, but you're scared of being open with him about feelings? But despite that fear of openness you've just told _me, _one of your most despised Marauders up until a few months ago, about your worries?"

With a swallow, comprehension lit off like a firework in Lily's mind.

"Er... yes?"

The bell rang through the castle and Sirius grinned at her as they packed away.

"You have more Gryffindor bravery than you think Evans," he commented, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "Trust it. There's a reason Prongs feels so much for you Lily. Don't shy away from the personality everyone loves about you."

As he turned to leave, Lily impulsively reached out and grabbed his hand. Sirius started.

"Thank you," she said, feeling the load on her shoulders melt.

With a roguish grin, Sirius gave her a little mock bow before sauntering to the door, giving Alice a pat on the bum as she passed him.

"Black I'll hex you're hands off!" she called after him. "Ready Lily?"

With a smile, Lily caught sight of James leaving the classroom.

"Yeah, I think I am."

_I would like to begin by saying how sorry I am for my lack of updates, I was horrified when I realised it had been 7 months since I'd produced anything for my lovely readers. There were several notably large changes in my personal life which sparked off my inability to write, to be honest I started to just drift through life for a few months, waiting for the fog to clear out of my head. Things kept being piled on and I ended up having to focus my energy on getting back to a happy medium in my life, establishing new relationships with people and getting back to myself. Now that road is beginning to run smoother, I've rekindled my love for this story and for writing in general. Needless to say I will not allow myself to slip up again and I'm committing myself to at least fortnightly updates from now on._

_I would like to thank all my amazing readers, everyone that has left me reviews and especially those who left me messages. You all make this worthwhile.  
_

_Dreams are to be followed and life is to be enjoyed. I'm going to take the time to make sure that happens._

_PS I took time out to visit london in November and was lucky enough to meet Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Tom Felton, Evanna Lynch and Imelda Staunton. However the main man didn't linger long enough with the crowds to complete the set so thats on the cards for July!_


	11. Chapter 11

**I know I said 2 weeks :S but hey its not 7 months right? *hangs head in shame* Planning to have the next out soon. Hope this was worth the wait!**

Chapter 11

Despite the numbness in his fingers and the biting wind whipping through his practice gear, James clutched his broom handle tighter, increasing his speed until the stands blurred and he had to bank sharply to avoid the goalposts he was lapping.

He'd worked the team hard tonight, frustration and the mental roadblock he seemed to have hit spurring him to stay in the air as long as possible. Even as true November darkness had fallen around them, the huge torches on the pitch lighting for them and his team trooping exhausted into the changing rooms, James had simply kicked back off the ground; ignoring Sirius' query of him coming along to raid the kitchens.

Yes, he knew he was acting like a surly git, but he really couldn't help it.

He was at a complete loss now. Lily clearly wasn't interested in whatever in Merlin's name had seemed to be developing between them anymore. She'd avoided him with mumbled excuses and he could practically see her dainty feet twitching in protest when she did actually have to stay and talk to him: the biggest advantage to being Head Boy so far in his book.

The freezing wind made his bones begin to ache and he slowed his run, choosing instead to attempt the most aerodynamically challenging drills he knew. G-forces pulled at his body, inside and out, causing that wonderfully thrilling swoop in his gut.

The same feeling Lily caused in him.

"BLOODY HELL!"

James pulled to an abrupt stop, breathing heavily, heart hammering. Resting his head down on his broom handle and hovering in midair, he fought against the frustration, anger, disappointment and despair eating through him like a corrosive cocktail. The wind was picking up, causing him to weave about as he was buffeted seemingly from all sides.

What could he do now?

Did he even want to do anything anymore?

Merlin he never thought he'd ask himself that question.

Was Lily Evans worth all this turmoil?

As soon as he'd asked the question, he had the urge to smack himself. Banging his forehead lightly on his broom, he sat up straight, blowing out a long breath. It had cropped up in his mind before, especially in fifth year, when it seemed inevitable that she and Snape-

Best not think of that.

But he'd never allowed himself to fully comprehend the idea until just now. The thought of simply giving up had crossed his mind many a time over the three years of pursuing her too; one glimpse of her the next day removed any thoughts of that from his head.

To him she was a siren. A Veela walking through his daily life. And just like with a Veela, what he felt was one thing; infatuation.

Not the 'L' word.

James cared deeply for Lily. If she was unhappy, he wanted to make her smile. If she was struggling, he wanted to help. If she was happy, Merlin help him, he wanted to share in that with her. But he couldn't say he was in love with Lily, purely because of what love entailed.

Love meant knowing someone inside and out, all their good, all their bad. While he knew a lot about Lily, he didn't know all of her. He didn't know how she was first thing in the morning (at least not until they'd slept on that sofa) he didn't know her deepest fears or insecurities or what she felt truly passionate about. When they'd become closer he'd resolved to learn all those things. Already he knew his feelings were deepening since she'd opened up about her sister. If he'd been smitten before, he was in trouble now.

Now that she seemed to be pulling away again, James had the instinctive urge to grab her and never let go. Perhaps that would be his next plan. A rigged broom closet?

He sighed, frustrated at what this girl could reduce him to. Devious thoughts worthy of slimy Slytherins.

_No more_, he vowed. Lily didn't want him, he wouldn't pander her any longer. Time to bow out-

A piercing whistle popped his bubble of thought, carrying on the high winds. James looked down, heart leaping into his throat when he saw a gleam of copper in the torch-lit stands.

And while he reminded himself not to get his hopes up, as he flew over to her James was just incredibly relieved to see Lily smiling.

"Impressive whistle Evans," he said, dismounting.

Lily seemed more at ease with his presence today than she had been since they'd fallen asleep together nearly two weeks ago. Her hands still fluttered around nervously in her lap though.

"My Mum taught me," she said with a wistful look on the face. "My Dad insisted on a family trip to a football match to 'educate' Petunia and I. He couldn't whistle for toffee! The huffy look on his face when my Mum taught us how to do it was priceless."

The way she giggled made an involuntary smile stretch onto James' face, but he felt confused as to her sudden mood change around him. After a moment Lily sobered and James found himself pinned under those intense green eyes.

"You were really pushing it in the air before."

_You know why too_, he thought. Uncomfortable, but slightly pleased that she'd obviously been watching him, James shrugged in what he hoped was a casual way.

"Got to push it every now and again to get better."

Lying to her felt beyond awful, but he couldn't bring himself to make her feel guilty as the reason for his bad mood. There was no fooling her though as it turned out, because her eyes softened, making him shift nervously.

"I'm sorry," she said, chewing her lower lip. "I know I've been quiet this week. I've just been-"

"Forget it."

In all honesty, James didn't want to hear why she'd been so keen to avoid him. Actually, he didn't really feel up to having this conversation with her right now. His head was full of unpleasant thoughts, swirling around and making him feel even more drained standing still than when he had been in the air. Having her sitting in front of him, her eyes bright and intense just made his stomach clench with feeling. And right now, while he was trying to come to terms with this compulsion to make her his, having her near him was too much. Goosebumps rose on his arms and he focused on a spot above Lily's head.

"It's cold. You should probably head back to the castle. I'm going for a shower."

Even though he wasn't looking at her, James knew her mouth had dropped open.

"What? I mean, I was hoping we could talk-"

"I'm knackered Evans," he said, turning away. "I'll see you later. Go back inside, don't want you getting ill."

Striding off towards the changing rooms, James felt the first drops of freezing rain hitting his neck.

_Good_. Suited his mood perfectly.

o*o*o

Numbing rain soaked all the way through Lily's hair, trickling down the her neck and in her clothes. She sat staring out through the lashing water, bouncing on the Quidditch pitch and creating a loud roar of sound around her. She felt anything but numb.

Furious was a far cry from numb.

How _dare_ James just dismiss her like that! And after she was apologising for her behaviour too! When Lily had pushed aside her own fear to come and speak to him, to open herself to him in a way that frightened her to death, what had he done?

All but sent her away like she didn't even matter to him.

Fucking Potter made her fall for him; then the wanker walked away from her.

Rage bubbling like acid in her stomach, Lily's whole body shook, though she was uncertain if it was from the cold or the anger. She didn't think twice, her brain had completely clicked off to rational thought. Storming from the stands, she marched straight for the changing room, punching the door open with a wet sounding smack.

For a second she caught a glance of James looking almost despondent. By the softer lighting in the changing room he sat shirtless, on a bench, elbows on his knees, hunched with his head down and clutching his wet, black hair in a death grip. He jumped up though, when the door opened so abruptly.

"Merlin are you trying to kill me?" he choked.

Apparently James then noticed the glare she was giving him, crossing his arms over his chest in defiance.

Not before he tossed her a towel though.

Lily clutched it tightly in her hand, feeling the temperature settle to moderate as the door swung shut behind her. Several deep breaths of musty, sweat and dirt filled air helped to calm her slightly... but then...

"What do you want?"

_Snap_.

With all her might, Lily threw the towel back at him, grabbing the next nearest thing to throw; a Quaffle sitting on a shelf by her head. Followed by a pair of brown leather shin guards abandoned on a bench to her left. Each item glanced off James' body, making a satisfying clang when they hit the metal lockers behind him.

"Ow- Lily! What the _fuck_ are you doing?" James bellowed, arms up to protect himself from her onslaught.

"You're such a bloody git!"

A lone lace up Quidditch boot came to hand, but James had marched over to her by this point. Still seeing red, Lily hit him with it several times before he managed to pin her arms behind her.

"You don't get to walk away from me, Potter," Lily spat, feeling her cheeks burn.

"You hypocrite!" shot James, making her breath hitch. "Isn't that what you've been doing lately? Running away. You don't get to tell me what to do, _Evans_."

Struggling against his hold, Lily's wrists began to throb as he held on tighter.

"Let go!" she spat.

"So you can hit me some more? Or run again?" James asked sarcastically.

"You were the one who told me to go away!" she answered.

"And you bloody didn't, did you?" he said, teeth gritted. "I let _you_ have time when you need it, why can't you give it to me? Do you _like_ tormenting me?"

"I came to apologise!" Lily raged, struggling harder. "How was I tormenting you? Do you think I was proud of being frightened about speaking to you?"

Instantly James' eyes softened. Lily felt herself blush and avoided his gaze at all costs.

"Why were you frightened?"

She squirmed, keeping her feet planted. James stooped, his hazel eyes searching, trying to make her look at him.

"Lily? Did I –"

"It wasn't anything you did," she promised, finding her voice. The distress behind even those few words made her swallow a lump in her throat. "I was, I got scared. Not of you. Of - er of... bloody hell why was this easier with Sirius?"

"You spoke to Sirius?" James asked with a touch of surprise.

Lily scoffed. "After a slight interrogation. He's very protective of you."

Despite the fact that James had loosened his grip somewhat, and there was less anger in the air, Lily looked up at him seriously.

"I'm still annoyed with you."

James shrugged. "What else is new? I'm still annoyed with you too."

Nodding, Lily chewed on her lip for a moment, debating upon how to tell him what was bothering her. She was wholly aware that telling him this would make it plain how she felt about him now. Hopefully he'd appreciate how important this was to her.

"I don't tell people things," Lily said eventually. 'Not even Alice. She only knows things because she reads me really well. And I'm not a very good liar when it comes to important things. I try my very best not to rely on others. Because, well because in my experience you can only rely on yourself... people don't tend to stick around."

Silence stretched for a moment.

"You think I'm not going to stick around?" James asked softly.

Uncomfortable, Lily shrugged.

"I don't know. But it isn't really that which is scaring me. I meant what I said in the common room. I feel comfortable with you. It was only after I'd told you about Petunia that I realised... I want tell you anything. I want to rely on you. And that... that terrifies me."

After several, long, tense moments, James stooped, cupping Lily's jaw and tilting her face to look at him.

"Next time," he said seriously. "Will you just tell me? I doubt I'd survive another attack with a boot."

o*o*o

When Lily let out a laugh she couldn't seem to help, James mentally patted himself on the back.

He should've known what was bothering her. Of course she'd be apprehensive about their changing relationship. After the years of teasing he'd inflicted upon her, his hounding of her in later years, not to mention the addition of her sisters attitude, her Mother's untimely death and her best friend aligning himself with others wanting her expelled from this way of life; it was a wonder she let anyone in.

A dainty, cold hand on his arm snapped him from his train of thought.

"Sorry," Lily mumbled, her hand rubbing a red patch left by her outburst. James shrugged, staring at her.

"Lily, I would never –" James began.

"Not intentionally," Lily cut across. "But everyone knows how volatile our society is right now. And I'm –"

"You're Lily," interrupted James fiercely. "Don't let them make you think of yourself as anything but who you are. You're a witch, end of."

A slight smile pulled at her lips. This would normally have James transfixed and his brain running away with itself, but this was crucial. For now, the man in him was overruling the teenager.

"I am," she agreed, looking at a spot over his shoulder. "But I know you want to fight. So do I. But what if –"

"What if we spend our lives in fear of what _might _happen? That's not living Lily."

Now she threw him a glare.

"Will you stop interrupting me? It's annoying. And you're putting me off."

"You started it."

Lily huffed, pulling her other arm free and dropping the boot she still held to the floor with a thump that echoed through the empty room. Watching her carefully, James let himself take a few deep breaths, pondering on everything she'd said. The rain was still loudly rumbling on the roof, the noise a monotone accompaniment to his swirling thoughts.

"I'm sorry," he said slowly. "If it seemed like I was dismissing you before. When you came here and said sorry; I forgave you instantly. I got irritated with myself, because you make me mental, but you just have to say sorry and all's forgotten."

More rain in the silence. Which stretched...

"Before that though," Lily prodded eventually, despite sounding hesitant. "When you were flying. It seemed like something... _more_ was bothering you."

_This was it._

"You're not the only one who's had things on their mind. I thought you didn't want to associate with me anymore. I couldn't work out what I'd done. I went over and over everything but..."

He shrugged, very aware she was watching him now, perched on one of the worn wood benches. James ruffled his hair, sitting on the bench opposite Lily.

"I need to ask you a question."

Pink emerged in a rush on Lily's cheeks but she nodded. "All right."

"You want to trust me?"

"Yes."

"You want to rely on me?"

A cheeky grin flickered on her face.

"That's two questions," she pointed out. "But yes."

After one last glance at his shoes, James looked at Lily. Straight into her intense green eyes.

"As a friend?"

Her eyes widened. She opened her mouth but abruptly closed it again.

That hesitation was all James needed. He slumped back against the cold wall behind him.

"Fuck me," he breathed.

"It's a little early for that isn't it?"

Lily was scarlet and James gaped at her, wondering if she was perhaps under the _Imperius. _Or was someone Polyjuiced. But her hands began to fiddle in her lap, picking at her already short nails. Just like she always did when she was nervous.

"That's what was bothering me," he confessed. "I didn't know how you felt. It's been quite confusing. I wanted to make things better between us, but not knowing what I'd done, or what you wanted..."

He trailed off, hoping she'd understand his mindset. To his relief, Lily nodded. However she then stood and James instantly panicked, scrambling to his feet too.

"I'm not running," she said breathlessly. "I just need some air."

It seemed like her legs were shaky as she walked to the door, leaving it open as she stepped out into the rain. James shivered in the draught, grabbing his jumper, only to remember it was soaked through. He moved to picked up the towel Lily had thrown at him.

That's when it hit him.

Lily Evans wanted him. _HOLY SHITE!_

Jumping up from the bench, he flat out ran from the changing room, towel in hand. He splashed through the sitting water on the ground, to where Lily stood, her face turned up to the sky.

She turned when she heard him, just in time for James to envelope her in his arms.

"James?"

"Don't run ok?"

For a moment, he took in her rain soaked face, her hair dripping, curling around her face. A perfect, rose pink blush had settled across her complexion. Nerves and adrenaline pumping through his veins, James cupped her cheek softly. Lily nodded and Gryffindor courage filled his chest, making him dip his head down that final distance.

It was like he'd been struck by lightning.

Lips.

Her soft, warm, sweet lips touched against his with the lightest pressure. He tasted mint and the rain and something unidentifiably sweet; something naturally Lily. Tentatively, slowly, with the lightest pull of flesh on flesh, they broke.

One kiss. One kiss had James panting raggedly, heart pounding. He didn't even open his eyes: he knew only one thing.

He needed to kiss her again.

He dipped his lips back to hers, revelling in the longer stretch of contact between them. They broke, with the slightest smacking sound, but in an instant his lips were on hers again. What started out as tentative became searching, varying the pressure, their mouths working against one another. Hands and arms tightened eagerly on her, pulling her closer to him as the downpour soaked through their clothes and hair. The freezing wind whipped up around them, chilling James' bare torso but he ignored it, on fire beneath his skin.

Grabbing the towel from him, Lily tossed it over their heads, shielding them from some of the weather, without ever losing contact with his lips. James smiled into their caresses, opening his mouth a little. A breathless noise of encouragement escaped her and Lily responded in kind, parting her lips for him. Elation swelled like a rising balloon in his torso; stomach flipping and spine tingling in a way no broom manoeuvre had ever made him feel. The new accessibility he had made James moan a little; that taste of was even stronger when he caught her plush bottom lip between his.

He felt her tongue, wet and warm, close to the surface of her lips and in a split second of opportunity, James slipped his through the gap of their open mouths, touching his against hers.

Lily's reaction was immediate, opening for him and James felt her wobble as if her legs were jelly. Sweet merlin tasting her was better than he'd ever fantasized. And oh how he'd fantasized. Fervour was overtaking, lips and tongues caressing with ease despite it being both of the students first kisses.

"James," Lily gasped, breaking away.

Looking down at her, breathless, her lips swollen and her fiery hair plastered to her head, James grinned.

"Yes Lily?"

A dazzling smile spread across her face. "Chase me."

With that she took off from beneath their towel, towards the castle. James laughed, running through the storm after her. He'd always chase her, from now to forever, knowing what prize awaited when he caught her.


End file.
